I consider myself something of a connoisseur of idiotic-unthinking-platitudinous fundie statements, the crazier the better. It takes a sharp eye and an appreciation for the absurd to spot and savor some of the most bizarre things fundies say while in the throes of religious fervor. They rarely consider whether or not it makes sense, but they take great pride in proffering a statement that emphasizes their level of devotion to their religious infirmity.
A couple of weeks ago, in response to an article in which Karl Rove was bemoaning Christianity’s eventual demise in a secular world, “Matthew”, the fundie in question, was moved to make this brilliant comment:
“And on the subject of Christianity going away: The Constitution will pass away, the United States of America will pass away, everything will pass away but Christianity will endure forever.”
That statement demonstrates the patented vacant thinking of christian fundies. If “everything”, thus all life, passes away while Christianity endures forever… exactly who or what is left to observe the belief system and rituals of Christianity? How will the faith be maintained? How can a belief system continue / be propagated when no candidates exist to believe in it?
Given that he probably never thought about this (as thinking isn’t a valued attribute amongst these people,) once faced with this problem Matt would probably introduce something really nutty like: “The angels will still be Christians.” Or “Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit will be Christians…and they live forever as do the angels and all dead believers’ spirits.” After all, when you’re invested in superstition why not invoke angels, deities and dead things to carry on the faith? It’s not like he isn’t already exposed as an ignorant supernaturalist.
My theory on how Christianity could outlive mankind is much simpler: Cockroaches!
Yes, you read it correctly… COCKROACHES will become the replacement Christians. Cockroaches have survived millions of years through all the cataclysmic geologic, atmospheric, and climatic events. Surely they will outlive man and adopt Christianity as their belief system. Praying cockroaches, cockroach televangelists, cockroach faith healers, cockroaches talking in tongues, cockroaches denying science, cockroach priests and cockroach ministers molesting juvenile cockroach believers.
Nah! Christianity is doomed to extinction, just as all religions eventually succumb. Cockroaches are too smart to be suckered into all that stupidity.
A couple of weeks ago, in response to an article in which Karl Rove was bemoaning Christianity’s eventual demise in a secular world, “Matthew”, the fundie in question, was moved to make this brilliant comment:
“And on the subject of Christianity going away: The Constitution will pass away, the United States of America will pass away, everything will pass away but Christianity will endure forever.”
That statement demonstrates the patented vacant thinking of christian fundies. If “everything”, thus all life, passes away while Christianity endures forever… exactly who or what is left to observe the belief system and rituals of Christianity? How will the faith be maintained? How can a belief system continue / be propagated when no candidates exist to believe in it?
Given that he probably never thought about this (as thinking isn’t a valued attribute amongst these people,) once faced with this problem Matt would probably introduce something really nutty like: “The angels will still be Christians.” Or “Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit will be Christians…and they live forever as do the angels and all dead believers’ spirits.” After all, when you’re invested in superstition why not invoke angels, deities and dead things to carry on the faith? It’s not like he isn’t already exposed as an ignorant supernaturalist.
My theory on how Christianity could outlive mankind is much simpler: Cockroaches!
Yes, you read it correctly… COCKROACHES will become the replacement Christians. Cockroaches have survived millions of years through all the cataclysmic geologic, atmospheric, and climatic events. Surely they will outlive man and adopt Christianity as their belief system. Praying cockroaches, cockroach televangelists, cockroach faith healers, cockroaches talking in tongues, cockroaches denying science, cockroach priests and cockroach ministers molesting juvenile cockroach believers.
Nah! Christianity is doomed to extinction, just as all religions eventually succumb. Cockroaches are too smart to be suckered into all that stupidity.
"Cockroaches are too smart to be suckered into all that stupidity."
ReplyDeleteI don't know?
Check this out!
HAHAHAH!!! oh man. Thanks HH. thats better than the pic I had!
ReplyDeleteyou da man!
Hump
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAny day now, Jesus is supposed to commit genocide(I'm waiting...) To wipe the slate clean and take his minions to Disney in the sky. That would mean it would live on in Disney Heaven, where all surviving Christians receive all you can eat cotton candy on a crucifix(low calorie)and get to be at the front of any line all day. No waiting! If you have been to Disney, that sounds like heaven. lol So I doubt the roaches have accepted Jesus as their personal savior, so they are fucked too. :)
ReplyDeleteNo Guy,
ReplyDeleteThe best attraction in their disney land of the sky is getting to watch non-believers and those of other religions, and of course the cockrosaches, burning in hell for an eternity.
Ya gotta love that kind of thinking. Walt Disney himself couldn't have "imagineered" anything that bizarre and perverse.
Hump
OMG, the squish-a-fix is the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.
ReplyDeleteOreo
Oreo,
ReplyDeleteYeah..I have Holey Hands to thank for that illustration!! It's a killer.
I wonder...would the cockroaches blame the Jewish cockroaches instead of the guy with the foot for their saviour's demise?
Hheheheh.
Hump
Would cockroaches wear little shoe jewelry?
ReplyDeleteOreo
Obviously, if God exists, then Cockroaches must be God's chosen people :P, and in his image were they created.
ReplyDelete26 And lo and behold, the verminous humans were squashed by the pelting rain that the Lord of Roaches did send down upon the earth
27 For he knew his chosen people could hold their breaths until all had drowned
28 And when it had come to pass, many a feast was to be had upon their waterlogged corpses.
-ThatMr.RogersDude
Oreo,
ReplyDeleteLOL...no doubt!!
Mr. Rogers,
Amen!!
How can a belief system continue / be propagated when no candidates exist to believe in it?....
ReplyDeleteSorry Hump, Are you speaking of The Republicans :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou know I had a thought this morning that the new wave Atheist are the most religious people I know. Believe it or not you are dedicated to a belief. I used to think of atheism as just a simple belief of....well I just don't believe in God. I am gonna go on living. That's not the case you are intent on keeping and "evangelizing" this viewpoint. Kudo's to you sir. While I can't prescribe to your line of thinking nor your religiosity....I am inspired to be just as fervent for the sake of the Gospel of Christ.
ReplyDeleteKrutches,
ReplyDeletenice to see you posting here.
I fear however, because of your indoctrination, you either don'tknow the definition of "atheism" , and/or the definition of "religion".
I would only ask you to go to a dictionary, or dictionar.com, and understand what the words mean before you expose your lack of education further.
By definition, atheism is not a religion; nor is there a system of belief. Look it up.
If we were to accept your new definition ..if atheism is a religion because atheists don't believe in God/gods... then people who don't believe in Vampires are a religion unto themselves.
People who don't believe in alien abductions, loch ness monster, werewolves, fairies, gnomes, and Santa ..all those deniers of supernaturalism or extraterrestial kidnappers belong to their own little religion of rejection(??).
Krutch...I emplore you: Try not to assign your own bizarre belief system affectation and adherence to doctrine, ritual, dogma, and belief in the unseeable non-existant, to people who simply don't believe in make believe.
When you can get that straight people will have much more repect for your ability to think, logic, and discern reality from word reinvention.
As for evangelizing. Hmmm... I suppose you could say that. I guess those who spoke agaist the intolerance and fictions and falshood of The Third Reich were "evangelizing" against Nazis.
I imagine you could say that those who spoke against the early church's abuse of power and suppresion of science as "evangelizing" magainst stunted thought and intolerance.
I suppose if one points out that the founding fathers were largely Deists, that many didn't believe in a personal god, that they left out all references to God, jesus, Christiaity, etc from our Nation's constituion (the basis for our laws) on purpose, and that writings of the fathers corroborated the separation of church and state intent of the 1st amendment that this isn't and never was a "christian nation", That people who point this out, and fight the right wing religious fanatics wo rewrite and pervert history... evanelical... well, then fine. Evangelical we are in that regard.
I guess what I'm saying is... we wouldn't have to be "evangelical"
indefence of scientific advancement, retention of our freedoms, and against the religiously inflicted's intolerance and need t control other peoples lives.. if people like that didn't pursue their agenda, and just practiced theoir stupidity on themselves.
PS... post and let me know you read this. I'd hate to think I was wasting my time responding to your comment.
thanks,
Hump
In defense of Krutches (but not very much defense...), there are some "Athiests" who obviously don't get that it's not a religion.
ReplyDelete"Un-baptisms" disturb me more than regular baptisms, or even baptisms by proxy. Superstition and Ritualism is all that is.
It's just like when Nerd became popular, and all these guys from the sports shows who used to be the ones giving the wedgies tried to act like they were hardcore nerds as well. They're just moving to what they think is going to be the winning side, but they don't even understand what it means.
"Oh yeah, we totally don't believe in God! Every day, we pray for the people who still believe in God, hoping that they'll see reason so they won't have to burn in hell for eternity."
-ThatMr.RogersDude
Chri$tian Bug .......music
ReplyDeleteit gave me the creepy crawlies.
ReplyDelete;)
HH,
ReplyDeleteWhat a creepy mind control culty song... snappy beat with a simple insipid message, repeated ad nauseum. I suspose this is just part and parcel of the typical Xian mantra.
- Fastthumbs
Hon, this is about as useless as trying to teach someone who is dead set in their grammatically incorrect ways that a double negative creates a positive comment.
ReplyDeleteGive. Up.
Dogmatic/literalist theists will always SNAFU their scripture and script. It's all that fervor. It overheats their brain.
Truth will out when all those double negatives add up.