Hump Reviews the NIV Bible on Amazon.com. The author will be pissed.

Sorry, God, but your book only rated one star from me. Oh, I wasn’t rating your new fangled more readable and gender friendly New International Version format, no... that was fine with me. It was the story line and plot that got my goat, or donkey, or camel, or whatever.

Ya gotta give amazon.com credit for approving this review, albeit, I get a sense that it isn’t going to be up for long when the religious nutters read it.

Here’s the link catch it while you can: http://www.amazon.com/review/R1VAP69OQ8D07S

And if it’s still there, give my review a “Yes” for helpful, please.

Just in case it’s gone before you get there here’s the actual review as posted:

“As violent fantasies go, this book is a page turner!”
November 28, 2011
By B. Centre (USA)
This review is from: Holy Bible (NIV) (Kindle Edition)

This book has it all. Cutting off women's hands for helping to fend off their husbands' attackers; directing the slaughtering of children with a bear attack and by mass murder; genocide galore; human sacrifice and the threat of it; and killing an innocent on behalf of others to placate himself. It doesn't take much to come to the conclusion that the author is one sick puppy with major issues, namely he is obviously a psychopath.

The author also claims to love all his children, but wow, he sure has a weird way of showing it. When my children disobey me, and I know they will, I almost never throw them out of the house into the street and place a curse on them and their children for all time. And I sure never nail gun them to the playroom wall, well, ok...just that once. But hey, I'm also sane.

In one chapter he demands fealty from everyone and makes it part of his major ten requirements, obviously an ego maniac. In the same list however he neglects to make pedophilia or slavery a crime. I'm guessing those things are ok by him. No wonder so many of his self appointed publicists are child molesters, and that it took 1800 years for slavery to finally be banned by reasoned folks... no thanks to the author.

But look, if you enjoy mass murder, incest, inexplicably hideous and laughable laws, talking snakes and donkeys, the destruction of pigs and fig trees, magic tricks, over one-hundred contradictions, the raving threats of co-author maniacs, the complete rejection of science, reason, reality and intellect and think you need this book to be moral ...then this obscenity is right down your alley.

Credited with dissing and destroying the Bible, Hump basks in the after glow.

Agitated by a news service blog’s mirthful reference to the KJV’s olde English suffix “th” (e.g. “beholdeth”) which religionists mistake for actual middle eastern ancient Biblical language, a fanatic bible worshipper insisted that the blog authors: ”Please be more respectful of holy things.”

That provoked me. I set out to educate him:

Since when is the antiquity of an inanimate object worthy of universal respect owing to its age or presumed “holiness” by its adherent? It is due respect only from those who foolishly imbue it with supernatural qualities, like an animist fetish, or voodoo doll.

The KJV or any other version of a book of fables, misogyny, societal mind control, and childlike hocus pocus which glorifies genocide, suborns slavery and infanticide, and is used to justify - with divine authority - intolerance, subjugation, and rejection of reality is due as much respect as The Protocols of the Elders of Zion. Screw that, and screw it.

And that would have been that until this reply:

“... you have disrespected hundreds of millions of follower’s belief in the Holy Scripture’s truthfulness ... Consider that you might be endangering the value of those who place value an inanimate object, such as a book or a picture, because you do not value it and say so in such a derogatory and vicious manner and therefore may become as that which you describe.”


Perhaps I was not clear enough.

Your book of fables is due all the respect as is Grimm's Fairy Tales. Now, if I had a first edition Grimm's I would certainly treat it with respect if only for its history, rarity and value.

However, whether first edition or reprint, I would hold its stories of witches, terror, cannibalism, murder in exactly the same reverence as I would your preferred book of fables ... which is to say none.

That this insults 100's of millions of believers (in either the scripture, or Grimm's Fairy tales) is of zero concern to me. That a billion Muslims are insulted and driven to rage by my depictions of Muhammad, and that I credit the Koran with spewing the same degree inhumane, repressive and intolerant lies and trash as I do the bible similarly leaves me nonplussed.

If Hindu devotees are repelled by my depiction of Ganesh eating peanuts; or Mormons don't like my calling their prophet a charlatan, and their book bad sci-fi worthy of derision; or that I mock Neo-Druids, Wiccans, Scientologists, or Cargo Cultists for their equally inane beliefs and rituals, all means exactly the same to me - Nothing.

Christianity, its doctrine and its handbook carries no more weight, validity, gravitas nor warrants any more respect than any other man-made/ self induced delusion or societal control mechanism. That your fellow deluded adherents are troubled by that is fine with me. So, now what? Inquisition? Jihad? Holy war? Fatwa? Crusade? Perhaps a more passive aggressive route ... you'll pray for me?

Finally, I do not endorse book burning. Book burning is largely the provenance of Christians. More books have been burned by Xtians through history and to current time than by all other belief systems, governments, or movements. But If my mocking your scripture, demystifying it, rejecting it for the dangerous and harmful thing it is to humanity is endangering its continuity...well then... I shall redouble my efforts. While I appreciate the credit, and do wish it were so, I am hardly worthy of such an accolade.

But I’ll bask in the glow anyway

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Wishing all my friends and readers a safe and happy Thanksgiving holiday.

Christian Rape, Mind & Body - Destroying indigenous cultures & children’s psyches for 500 years

Consider the following: you’re living peaceably in a land that your ancestors staked claim to a few thousand years ago. You’re practicing your culture, happily. Your rites, your ceremonies, your superstitions have been handed down in the oral tradition generation after generation in myth and fable. Then one day some invading foreign power usurps your land. Bad enough. But adding insult to injury this new culture tells you that you’ll follow their rituals and rites, worship only their one particular loving god or they’ll kill you.

They use coercion. You initially resist, but when that fails you go through the motions. The invading culture suspects heresy and metes out punishment. Figuring the best way to ensure conversion takes root is via the young, they take your kids and send them away to better control their minds and strip the ancient heathen belief system from them. Success is measured by the elimination of the old culture’s beliefs, and the acceptance of the new culture’s ... and body count of those stiff necked traditionalists who resisted. No title of “martyr” for them; just “dead heathen.”

And so it was in the 16TH, 17TH, 18TH, 19TH centuries and into the 20th in North and South America. And so it was in Africa, and the Pacific Basin. And so it was in Australia and New Zealand. For this is the “mission” of Christianity. Destroy indigenous cultures, steal their children’s birthright, rape their minds, and instill the fear of hell and damnation the better to cultivate a love for their mythical “prince of peace” man-god. Save their souls even if it kills them.

No other religion on the planet, save Islam, proselytized by the sword and gun. No other belief system of an invading culture more worked toward the eradication of the conquered culture’s indigenous superstitions. Not the Romans, the Saxons, the Persians, the Greek city states, the Visigoths, the Hun, the Mongols, none of the “barbarian” tribes and cultures. Only Islam rivaled it.

Fact is, considering Christianity's methods and impact, calling those tribes barbarian is a misnomer. For while those tribes conquered and pillaged and laid claim to the spoils, pre and non-Christian conquerors left the vanquished people their birthright - their cultural beliefs and practices. And if those beliefs gradually declined as a result of assimilation, it was not by threat of death or institutionalized brainwashing.

This is the legacy of Christianity. But it doesn’t stop there. It goes on, just more subtly.

As I type this there are hundreds if not thousands of “Christian Group Homes” for troubled children in the US and around the world who are spreading the faith and saving souls through Christian barbarism. Operating under the guise of helping the most vulnerable among us to education, social adjustment and assimilation they rape both their minds and their bodies.

Whether under the auspices of organized churches, or run by self-proclaimed Christian “brothers and sisters” doing “the Lord’s work” these depositories for troubled kids are dispensaries of religious indoctrination, physical, sexual, and mental abuse which will haunt the survivor for her entire life. They flourish today because they are licensed and “blessed” by the states who are more than happy not to have to provide real and meaningful assistance at tax payer expense, and whose monitoring and input to these places are negligible if any at all.

Not until one of these religionist snake pits are exposed due to some outrageous excesses becoming public is there an investigation and intervention by secular authorities who always feign surprise that such a thing could happen. Why? Because Christianity gets a pass. In Western culture if it's Christian sponsored it must be good, the barbaric history of Christian outreach to those who never asked for it not withstanding.

Whether for financial gain or out of this sick need to infest minds and save non-existent souls, the barbarism of Christianity missions will never end until its false attributes of goodness and godliness are stripped away and it’s thrown into the trash bin where the atrocities of history belong.

Coach Paterno’s Religious Play Book

I am not a big football fan. If someone asked me a week ago who Joe Paterno was, I wouldn’t have been able to tell them. But today, today I’m in awe of Coach Joe Paterno for he has done what I couldn’t do in two books of anti-theist writings.

Notice I said in awe - not respectful, in admiration, or supportive of him, for he is worthy of none of those accolades. I am in awe of Paterno’s chutzpah. Oh, for sure he ran a great team, developed it with hard fought persistence, dedication and leadership. If ones life’s worth were measured by sport or success in his life’s passion, Paterno would be a national hero.

But when it came down to real life, the last play on the goal line of an sterling career, he failed and failed miserably. He chose between a game and children’s wellbeing. He chose between complacency and indignation. He chose between right and wrong. He chose poorly. When it really mattered Paterno fumbled, and fumbled beyond forgiveness.

His termination by Penn State was right and proper, and that would have been the end of it save any legal actions that might befall him as a result of his inaction. I’d have had nothing to comment upon, no further ax to grind with him. But then he said this:

"As you know, the kids that were the victims, I think we ought to say a prayer for them,"

And there, in that one sentence is the very heart of the grotesqueness of religion, the very core of what I have raged about, fought against, and endeavored to put a face on for these many years all summed up nice and tidy by a disgraced coach.

PRAYER?? Say a PRAYER for the child victims? You self righteous sanctimonious jerk... some of those kids are victims partially because you failed as a man. You relinquished your responsibility as a human being. Your hubris and self interest over shadowed those victims interest. But, now, NOW you’ll implore us to mumble words to a nonexistent thing in the sky as though that will fix things? As though those kids’ lives will be repaired by words to a deity when your own misbehavior, self-serving actions, or apathy was a causal factor for their pain?

No Joe, the only thing that can help these kids now is years of therapy by trained child psychologists. Your call to prayer to millions of your fans and followers won’t do a damn thing for those kids, it never has and it never will. Thanks anyway. And as a Hail Mary play to repair your image- forget it, that’s been tried by fools, frauds, and tyrants for eons. It’s the hall mark of disgraced religionists to drop back into supernatural mode and punt, the better to distract from their failed humanity and inability to carry it across the line.

Sorry Joe, no supernatural platitudinous hackneyed “let us pray” is going to erase your penalty, remove the shame, shift blame, salve things over, or heal wounds. You dropped the ball big time. Invoking your imaginary god and supernaturalism may have worked for your half time locker room pep talks...it doesn’t work in the real world, it only makes it worse.

(Thanks to Rachel H. for the inspiration for this article)

The Indefensible Defense of Marriage Act: The Ultimate Religionist Hypocrisy

Back in 1996 Bill Clinton signed into law the Defense of Marriage Act. It says that the federal government does not recognize same sex marriages, even if the states pass laws permitting them. So in the eyes of the Federal government, gays legally married in MA, or NH, or any state where permitted by law, are not in fact legally married. The law still stands.

No surprise that this law was pushed by the GOP. It was introduced by Bob Barr, R-Georgia (above left), who himself was divorced in 1985, accused of infidelity. The GOP loves meddling into peoples’ personal lives and genitalia. What is a surprise is that law passed the House 342 to 67...with half the votes of Democrats being in favor of the law, while only one Republican voted “no”. It passed and the Senate 85 to 14, again almost half the Dems voted yes, while 100% of Republicans voted yes.

Worst of all, President Bill Clinton signed it into law. Of all the Democratic presidents, Clinton should be the last one to get involved with “defending” marriage. After all, it’s not like his marriage is anything more than a sham and marriage of convenience to begin with.

Naturally the God-fearing GOP and their clergy supporters invoked the name of God, warning of his being offended; immorality; the impact homosexual marriage has on diminishing and destroying the blessed institution of hetero-sexual marriage; and all of the insipid, mindless and silly rhetoric one has come to expect from the defacto Party Of God and Hate.

Divorce between men and women in the US hovers around 50%, it has for many years. In the Bible Belt divorce rates are the highest in the nation*. Along with Barr, Newt Gingrich (above right) pushed this act. He is famous for his having dumped his wife of many years for a new girl friend while his wife was undergoing breast cancer treatment. The numbers of married Republicans (and Dems) who have cheated on or divorced is legion, too long to be recapped here. Let it just be said that besides Bill Clinton, many of our elected officials who signed that grotesque piece of legislation have strayed, been exposed, shamed, and/ or filed for divorce - self righteous God believers all.

One can only wonder how allowing gays to marry could undermine the institution of marriage or cause marriages to dissolve any worse than they already do; or somehow encourage straights not to marry. And exactly why does the government care about marriage to begin with? How it is governmental business as to who gets married, who gets divorced, who is living together, who is celibate, and whose genitalia is going where among consenting adults defies explanation. It certainly isn’t constitutionally directed.

And exactly WHOSE marriage needs “defense,” much less defense by a bunch of mealy mouthed two faced religionist hypocrites whose instances of sexual misconduct and infidelity is rivaled only by the President of Italy, Catholic priests, and Baptist youth ministers?. I challenge anyone to find a single married couple who will confirm that the Defense of Marriage act either encouraged them to marry, or saved their marriage. Not one will be able to point to a family member, friend, associate or acquaintance whose marriage was encouraged, or divorce forestalled by this Act of Congress. Similarly, I’ll venture that you’ll never find any intellectually honest and sane person who can reasonably explain and support how gay’s getting married has or will destroy their or anyone else’s heterosexual union.

How do I know this? Simple; I asked Mrs. Hump if she feels our marriage of forty-one years needs governmentally directed defense, and if she has any inclination to divorce me if the Defense of Marriage Act is ever over turned. She told me that even with my sagging hump and hideously annoying camelus dromedarius disposition she’ll always be my wife... then told me I’m an idiot for asking and to go fix my own dinner for asking such a question.

Ah, the institution of marriage! Why should heteros be the only ones to be institutionalized and given the opportunity to divorce?

* divorce rates in the Bible Belt: http://articles.cnn.com/2011-08-25/living/divorce.bible.belt_1_divorce-rates-lower-rates-marriage?_s=PM:LIVING

The Bamboozling of America: Thank God for the GOP

I don’t give a fiddler’s damn about Kim Kardashian, her ass, her marriage, her divorce, her family, or anything about her/them. Nor do I give a flying rat’s Kardashian that Bernie Madoff and his wife allegedly attempted suicide...and tragically failed. I’m not about to drop $25.00 much less 25 cents to read the son’s and wife’s self serving book.

I will not waste any more time than it takes to type this sentence to wonder who gets voted off Dancing with the Wanna Bes, The Island, or The Race, The X Factor, The American Idol, The So You Think You Can Talk and Chew Gum at the Same Time show, or any other contrived non-reality reality shows with their insipid hosts, contestants and judges.

Other than expressing my disdain, I could not care less about the drunken excesses of stereotypical low life, under educated white and semi-white Italian American trash portrayed on Jersey Shore... albeit, I do hold out hope to hear someday that they all contracted a new and incurable strain of venereal disease.

While I have always reviled knee jerk conspiracy theories, I’ve permitted myself to engage in a flight of fantasy and pondered if the media isn’t somehow in cahoots with a covert segment of the government to placate and distract Americans from genuinely important issues that could rouse them to indignation and action. In as much as these mind numbing people and programs are so important to 90% of the adult American population, can it be we are being fed the equivalent of what the Circus Maximus and gladiatorial games were to the Roman masses?

Yesterday I saw evidence that this theory may not be as far fetched as it sounds. The House of Representatives, or more succinctly - the Republicans in control of the House of Representatives- announced it was going to hold a vote to reconfirm “In God We Trust” as the official US motto. That’s right - this monumental issue, critical to the health and well being of the nation, will be brought to a vote. Why? Did some leftist god hating Dem propose bringing back the more sensible and inclusive “E Pluribus Unum”? No! Was a secret cabal of atheist congressmen planning to force through a constitutional amendment to remove the idiotic theocratic misstatement from our currency and coinage? Not likely.

Would reaffirmation of the motto (which any child of twelve could see has as much chance of failing reaffirmation as Newt Gingrich has of growing an adult size penis) some how improve the unemployment picture? Will it reduce housing foreclosures? Can it help resolve the deficit? Any chance it will stabilize the financial markets, improve the economy, stop global warming, resolve the illegal immigration question / secure our borders, make us safer from terrorism, bring an end to the Afghan war, improve our public schools' performance, lower rising health care rates, reduce the national obesity epidemic, or lessen our dependency on foreign oil? Nope.

But what this absurd waste of time, energy and money will do is raise an issue where none exists. It will falsely inflame the ire of Christian theocrats and Christian Nation advocates as though there has been some concerted effort to destroy their god and their mindless, meaningless and exclusionary motto along with it. It’s a slight of hand, a diversion of monumental proportion by the GOP. It will distract from the fact that they are stone walling ... doing nothing that will help the people, the nation, or the president because to do so would not be in the best interest of the Republican Party this close to a presidential election. It comes down to this: “Let the nation and the real issues be damned ... we have a motto to reconfirm, a God to protect, and a new president to elect!”

Thus, they wrap themselves in a flag, wave their crosses, imply the motto is under threat, assure the people that God likes and wants this motto; that God will forsake the US if we don’t keep the motto; that this motto is what makes us good and great (while the motto Allah Akbar / God is Great, makes the Islamic extremists evil).

Less savvy freethinkers will become animated and enthused at this wonderful non-opportunity. The religionist masses will rally to the cause, baa in agreement, revile the godless among them, while in the next breath they will praise Bruno for giving so-and-so a 10 on their fox trot.

And America will go on - fat, deluded, stupid, on the brink, and unimproved. Thank god for the GOP.