When reality dawns on a devout Xtian stand back- you don’t
want to get any of their fear and confusion splattered on your Birkenstocks.
I have a couple of Xtian internet friends that I’ve known for many years
now. A moderate / liberal “Christ
follower” she’s only a short jog away from being rational. Her husband, also an accepting Xtian, is a
tad more afflicted with the God Virus. He’s a Bible banger, but mild mannered, not
comfortable with debate and typically avoids confrontation. He’s from the hills
of the Bible Belt, she’s from the North East. I’ve shared some of my experiences with them
in The Atheist Camel Chronicles.
So, imagine my surprise when out of the clear blue sky I get this posting to my
Facebook page from “Jethro” (paraphrasing from memory):
“I’ve had
enough!! You spend page after page trying
to disprove Jesus; more time than I do praising Him. Deep down you must really
believe or you wouldn’t spend so much time denying Him. I hope you find Him some Day. You just got
called out BITCH!!”
This was so out of character for him I contacted his wife who was
also taken aback at the bizarre outburst. Having suffered a serious injury he’s been on
and off mega narcotics, is suffering a great deal of discomfort, and has been
out of work for a long time because of it. He has been under enormous physical
and financial stress for almost two years now. I hold no anger at his rant - no harm
done. I hope he gets better and things turn around for the both of them soon.
But what’s interesting is that no where on my Facebook page have I ever
attempted to disprove Jesus, nor any mythical figure. Nor have I attempted such in my blog, or in
my books. Trying to disprove the existence of Jesus, God, Isis, Ganesh, Mithra,
Moloch, Big foot, or aliens among us would be the ultimate waste of time. I
dismiss them simply because they lack objective evidence for their existence;
not in a “spiritual”, live, dead, or zombie state.
And why does an atheist’s rejection of a scientifically unsupportable concept
imply some sort of repressed deep seated belief to theists? Does the theist’s
own denial of the thousands of gods man has dreamt up over millennia similarly
imply they are harboring a suppressed belief in the pagan gods, many of whom
are worshipped by millions to this day?
If the answer is “no” then why is it so easy for them to ignore that
fact and project belief on those who simply reject as fable just one more god
than they?
The predominant opinion is that these religionists simply lack the will or
intellectual capability for self-reflection and analysis. They cannot equate their own rejection of
other peoples’ gods to an atheist’s legitimate rejection of their Xtian God.
The “truth” of their belief is so evident to them, so obvious in spite of the
absence of objective proof that for anyone to not accept it they must be “angry
at God,” or “deceived by Satan,” or just in denial.
But what could possibly have been the catalyst to prompt such a hostile
outburst and unprovoked and uncharacteristic challenge from “Jethro”? I have
a theory.
You see, he and his wife believe strongly in the power of prayer. Oh, not
enough to entrust God to cure his physical condition without ongoing professional
medical care, but enough to credit God with every crumb of positive fortune
that falls into their laps. If someone
gives them $20.00 to pay for medication (they have little or no health care
coverage), then it was God’s influence.
If their church fund provides them with groceries, or gas money to tide
them over... their prayers were answered. If they get a cost of living increase
on their disability payment, God did it. If his symptoms subside and he can
walk without agonizing pain for the afternoon, Jesus had a hand in it.
However, this self deception of attributing supernatural causes to natural and humanitarian
acts of charity plays just so long / goes just so far. It’s one thing to chalk up misfortune to a
“test of faith” - it’s a whole ‘nother thing when conditions become such that
the worry and tribulations never improve, never resolve and show no sign of
ever abating. When the landlord issues
his final notice; when you don’t know where your next meal is coming from; when
you suffer because there is no money for meds, or gasoline, or repairs, or
electricity - and this continues for years with no foreseeable relief- in spite
of daily appeals to the supernatural, one might begin to question the efficacy
of prayer, or God’s benevolence, or perhaps even the existence of a god itself.
So what prompted Jethro’s inexplicable explosion and impassioned protestation
of my supposed dedication to the disproval of Jesus and his tortured illogic of
my harboring a repressed belief in his man-god? I proffer it is his own
reckoning with reality as it begins to seep through the cracks of his failing
faith. When one implores the non-existent with desperate pleas day after day,
week after week, month after month, year after year and is met with deafening
silence and inaction while others around you are prospering and enjoying good
health even in their rejection of religious supernaturalism then
“Why hath thou forsaken me?” or more
likely
“Where the fuck are you??” is
a reasonable response. After all, even mythical
Job’s suffering was limited to weeks, or months at worst. Years of it would
be untenable.
So, perhaps Jethro wasn’t entirely mistaken. Maybe Jesus
IS being disproved, and
an underlying repressed acceptance
IS being harbored. But the disproval is not of my making, it’s
his; and the acceptance is one of hard reality – also his own. He is grieving
the loss of a long held and all but unshakable belief and is understandably
scared to death at the dawning of this revelation. Jethro’s psyche is hovering somewhere between “denial” and “anger“ in
Kessler’s and Kubler-Ross’s
Five Stages
of Grief.
Welcome to the brink of rationality, Jethro.
Welcome to the cross road of free thought. Let not your heart be
troubled. Although you don’t see it just yet, I promise you that there is
comfort in the knowledge that you are the only master of your one and only life. I hope it serves you as well as it does me. Embrace
it.