Tuesday, May 6, 2008

May 1, 2008: The National Day of Idiocy, just in case you missed it.


In the 50’s a lot of crazy religious proclamations were made by Congress. They added the “under god” phrase to the pledge; added “In god We Trust” to paper currency; and declared the first Thursday in May a “national day of prayer”.

A lot of this stemmed from the “Red Fear”, the hysteria over Communism in the 50’s with Joe McCarthy the poster boy for fear, persecution and paranoia. The logic being that Communists wouldn’t handle money, or say the pledge…thus exposing them as the godless heathen fiends that they were. A brilliant plan by highly intelligent Christians.

So last week, Thursday May 1, theists of all sects, denominations and cults were supposed to bow their heads, or kneel, or prostrate themselves while mumbling some prayers to their respective concepts of God or gods. The focus was supposed to be prayer for our nation.

There is even an official National Day of Prayer website, that I will say, right here, and right now, is the shallowest, most insipid, and idiotic website I have visited since the last time I checked up on our good God fearing Christian friend Fred Phelps.

Check it out at your convenience, you won’t be disappointed: http://www.ndptf.org/home/home.html

The whole website reads like a caricature of theistic stupidity at its worst. I checked twice to make sure it wasn’t some parody site created by a smart ass atheist.

There you will find the official prayer for 2008, a meaningless and childlike assemblage of self serving drivel. A quick read, it infers God blesses America because it is more worthy than those other starving and hideously suffering peoples of underdeveloped nations that presumably don’t HAVE a National Day of Prayer. One is left to assume those countries are the way they are by God’s will…or his divine neglect. Basically it boiled down to “Thanks …and keep up the good work God! Amen.”

In another section you will find out how effective group prayer is, as proven by Washington DC having had six days without a murder. Similarly Orlando Florida had a reprieve from their body count too. Both were specifically attributable to God’s intervention as a result of intense coordinated prayers. (Presumably after DC’s six days, and Orlando’s brief respite from crime God decided “no more Mr. Nice guy”, and the shit hit the fan again … go figure).

The same section also offered a heart warming account of how a father’s prayer delivered his son from a shooting on campus, as well as sparing his whole athletic team: proof of the power of prayer. Evidently only non-athletic nerds were killed by the gunman so one is left to deduce that God responds best to prayers from sports fans or athletes’ fathers. Nerd’s fathers carry no weight with God it seems (no explanation was offered as to why God decided to let 16 non-athletes be shot to death instead … go figure).

If December 7th 1941, Pearl Harbor Day, is known as the “day that will live in infamy”, then the first Thursday in May is the “day we devote to idiocy” ... when modern day shamans and witch doctors stand before the theistically enslaved and utter their thanks and pleas to the nonexistent figment of their collective ganglia. And the good news is they get to do it again next year.

In ‘09 I’m not gonna sit on my hands. No sir! I’m going to do my part by sacrificing a virgin chicken to Baal. Hey … when it comes to meaningless gestures of superstitious nonsense every little bit helps.

4 comments:

bugsoup said...

"Both were specifically attributable to God’s intervention as a result of intense coordinated prayers. (Presumably after DC’s six days, and Orlando’s brief respite from crime God decided “no more Mr. Nice guy”, and the shit hit the fan again … go figure)."

Personally, I blame the Christians directly for stopping this totally effective coordinated prayer. If it was working, and now it's not, then the only thing that changed was their PII (Prayer Intensity Index). Clearly, they don't love their fellow man enough to continue doing what they "know" in their "hearts" works. They should do nothing but pray and stay away from those that act instead of fail to act.

DromedaryHump said...

Soup,
Exactly correct.

Those back sliding theists should give away all their posessions, quit their menial jobs, and spend 16 hrs a day in prayer. Maybe then the gang bangers and drug dealers would lay down their arms for good. Lazy uncaring bastards.

I saw a cartoon from a friend that said it all. The guy told his boss he wont be in because of National Prayer Day.
The Boss asks, "Well, what did you pray for last year?
The guy says "An end to hunger, bring about world peace, and elimiation of disease."

They look at each other and the boss says: "So.. we'll see you at 8 am tomorrow then?".
The guys say.. "7:30"
heheheh. Perfect!

itsme_crazydad™ said...

Drom said: I’m going to do my part by sacrificing a virgin chicken to Baal.

Chickens are always good for a lay... Will you be sacrificing said chicken upon the Weber altar?

DromedaryHump said...

CD,
heheh... yes...and I will anoint said foul with Jack Daniels BBQ sauce. Heavenly!!