Wednesday, December 1, 2010

“By their senselessness yea shall know them.” - Name these religions & win a prize.

If you are a frequent reader of my blog and books on theism, or stay current on the whacky activities of the deluded, you should be rather well versed in the doctrines of various religions. The most bizarre beliefs are usually marked by such nuttiness that its absurdity can be summarized in one sentence that uniquely identifies the denomination. So, without any further ado “NAME THAT CULT/RELIGON!”

  1. This group believes that if they attain the proper level of religious righteousness they will ultimately be gods and goddess of their own planet. (value 5 points)

  2. This group insists that 75 million years ago an evil galactic ruler, named Xenu, solved overpopulation by bringing trillions of people to Earth in DC-8 space planes, stacking them around volcanoes and nuking them. (value 5 points)

  3. These believers practice of symbolic cannibalism goes one step further, believing the food and drink actually is the blood and flesh of a man-god. (value 3 points)

  4. If you believe that UFOs spawned most religions, mind transfer is possible and cloning can lead to reincarnation you’d fit right in with this bunch. (value 10 points)

  5. Whites are “delightsome”; blacks are the accursed of Cain. (value 5 points)

  6. During Childbirth, the mother should be silent because it is believed that the noises evoke bad memories when the child gets older. (value 10 points)

  7. Oldest “three gods in one” religion in modern practice. (value 5 points)

  8. “Gheblac heberiso proargh quiazchloc fuelcmip.” (value 3 points)

  9. Their deceased messiah never said he was God, but his oft intoxicated followers insist he will return. (value 5 points)

  10. The devout focus on obtaining the material wealth of an advanced culture through magic, and expect their messiah to return on Feb 15 in some unknown year. (value 10 points)

  11. The practice of this sect’s most important ritual is illegal in three states. (value 5 points)

  12. At least 165 children have died since 1975 directly resulting from the practice of this belief. (value 5 points)

  13. By swinging a live chicken around their head three times prior to a specific holy day they can purge themselves of their sins. (value 5 points)

  14. They encourage the ritual bloodletting of the scalps of children on a holiday commemorating the martyrdom of their religion’s most revered saint (value 10 points)

  15. This religion demands your death if you leave the fold (value 3 points)

  16. Everyone who is not a member of this sect is knowingly or unknowingly under the devil’s control. (value 10 points)

I’ll post the answers in a few days. Meanwhile submit your best guesses in the blog comment section or on my facebook page. The first person to get them all correct will get a signed copy of my book “The Atheist Camel Chronicles.” If no one gets them all the highest score will win. (Offer open to US residents only, sorry. Only one answer per question. You may enter multiple times. Like Papal Infallibility the decision of the camel as to the correct answers is final).

99 points = You are Omniscient and possibly God!
98 – 75 points = Apostle material to a god of your choice
74- 68 points = You should have your own cult
67 -50 points = Your time in purgatory will be reduced by 50%
49- 30 points = Read more, watch Jersey Shore less.
29 and below = You are obviously theist …why are you even here?


Bonnie said...

1. Mormons
2. Scientologists
3. Catholicism
4. Raëlians
5. Mormons again
6. Scientologists again
7. Hinduism
8. Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
9. Rastafarians
10. New Hebrides (I think). John From and the cargo cults?
11. Islam?
12. Christian Science
13. Orthodox Judiasm
14. Shiite
15. Islam
16. Jehovah's Witnesses (I was born into and raised in that horrid cult)

Dromedary Hump said...

Bonnie: very solid score. But not perfect.

Anonymous said...

1 Mormonism (LDS)
2 Scientology
3 Catholic Christianity
4 Raelism
5 oh, various protestant sects
6 Scientology
7 Probably Hinduism, though their triune god concept is relatively recent as far as I know
8 ?
9 Various Christianities, Rastafari, Mandaeism
10 no idea
11 just three?
12 Christian Science
13 Some sects of Judaism do this
14 ?
15 Islam
16 christianities, particularity of the evengelical type

Joyce said...

I actually know the answers to all of these (because of you, actually. I didn't know them all before! Honestly!)

But I already have a beautiful, personally signed book from you so I'll give someone else a chance.

Funny how much I've learned from you over the years!

Dromedary Hump said...

This Hollow ... well, at least your time in Purgatory will be reduced ;)

Joyce... bet ya don't know 'em all.

Sue said...

Well, I think I have all but 1. Seems like the Mormons crop up more than their share of times on this list, but some of them like the last one surely are beliefs of some xtian sects as well?
1. Mormons
2. Scientology
3. Roman Catholicism
4. Raelians
5. Mormons
6. Scientology
7. Babylonians (pagans)—Nimrod, Semiramis, and Tammuz—or Plato
8. Pentecostals--is this someone speaking in tongues? “Gheblac heberiso proargh quiazchloc fuelcmip.”
9. Rastafarians
10. John Frum cargo cult
11. …this sect’s most important ritual (marriage of first cousins?) is illegal in three states.
12. Christian Science
13. Judaism
14. Shi’ite Islam
15. Islam
16. Mormons

Joyce said...

Maybe not, but I'm pretty sure I do. You (and Huff, HH, Tracey & a few others) have taught me a lot -- actually more than I needed to know! LOL. Not really. You've enlightened me in many areas that I had no previous knowledge of.

Still, since I already own the book, I will continue to bow out of the contest. :-)

Jacquie said...

1) Mormons
3) Roman Catholicism
4)Raëlian Religion
6) Scientology
7) Catholicism
10)John Frum cargo cult
11)Can think of lots of things that are illegal everywhere and some that maybe should be, but not just illegal in 3 states
12)Christian Science Church
14) Shia Islam
16)Jehovah's Witnesses

Oneeyedgoat41 said...

1. Mormonism
2. Scientology
3. Catholicism
4. Raelianism
5. Mormonism
6. Don't know
7. Hinduism
8. Don't know
9. Christianity
10. Catholicism
11. Catholicism
12. Unknown
13. Judaism
14. Don't know
15. Islam
16. Islam

Anonymous said...

1. Mormon
2. Scientology
3. Catholic
4. New Age
5. Mormon
7. Christianity
8. Pentecostal
9. Protestant
10. Jehovah's Witness
11. Judaism
12. Disciples of Christ
13. Judaism
15. Muslim
16. Jehovah's Witnesses

Dromedary Hump said...

Sue...not bad: 79 points. But not good enough to win.

Jacquie... very nice: 86 points, but not in first place.

Oneyed... oh, my you dont wanna know. sorry. REALLY don't wanna know ;)

NewEnglandBob said...

On number 2: "...bringing trillions of people to Earth in DC-8 space planes..."

That is completely ridiculous, everyone knows it is DC 10, not DC 8!

Dromedary Hump said...

NEBob... LOL.. yeah, otherwise it makes perfect sense ;)

Jacquie said...

With regards to question 1 - it seems like a great idea for a video game - start on the terrestrial level - earn a temple recommend, go on a mission, get points for converting people, win lots of wives, and go up through the various celestial levels until you get to the top level and get your own planet etc.

Dromedary Hump said...

sounds good, like the Mario Brothers meet Joseph Smith ;)

Dromedary Hump said...

AND THE WINNER IS: Bonnie with 91 points. She missed only two questions: #8 which was Pentacostal (the sentence I typed was representative of "talking in tongues" :) and #11 which was the Snake Handler Christian sect.

Congrats Bonnie, very impressive! I'll message you tru facebook to get the mailing and inscription info.