If you are a frequent reader of my blog and books on theism, or stay current on the whacky activities of the deluded, you should be rather well versed in the doctrines of various religions. The most bizarre beliefs are usually marked by such nuttiness that its absurdity can be summarized in one sentence that uniquely identifies the denomination. So, without any further ado “NAME THAT CULT/RELIGON!”
- This group believes that if they attain the proper level of religious righteousness they will ultimately be gods and goddess of their own planet. (value 5 points)
- This group insists that 75 million years ago an evil galactic ruler, named Xenu, solved overpopulation by bringing trillions of people to Earth in DC-8 space planes, stacking them around volcanoes and nuking them. (value 5 points)
- These believers practice of symbolic cannibalism goes one step further, believing the food and drink actually is the blood and flesh of a man-god. (value 3 points)
- If you believe that UFOs spawned most religions, mind transfer is possible and cloning can lead to reincarnation you’d fit right in with this bunch. (value 10 points)
- Whites are “delightsome”; blacks are the accursed of Cain. (value 5 points)
- During Childbirth, the mother should be silent because it is believed that the noises evoke bad memories when the child gets older. (value 10 points)
- Oldest “three gods in one” religion in modern practice. (value 5 points)
- “Gheblac heberiso proargh quiazchloc fuelcmip.” (value 3 points)
- Their deceased messiah never said he was God, but his oft intoxicated followers insist he will return. (value 5 points)
- The devout focus on obtaining the material wealth of an advanced culture through magic, and expect their messiah to return on Feb 15 in some unknown year. (value 10 points)
- The practice of this sect’s most important ritual is illegal in three states. (value 5 points)
- At least 165 children have died since 1975 directly resulting from the practice of this belief. (value 5 points)
- By swinging a live chicken around their head three times prior to a specific holy day they can purge themselves of their sins. (value 5 points)
- They encourage the ritual bloodletting of the scalps of children on a holiday commemorating the martyrdom of their religion’s most revered saint (value 10 points)
- This religion demands your death if you leave the fold (value 3 points)
- Everyone who is not a member of this sect is knowingly or unknowingly under the devil’s control. (value 10 points)
I’ll post the answers in a few days. Meanwhile submit your best guesses in the blog comment section or on my facebook page. The first person to get them all correct will get a signed copy of my book “The Atheist Camel Chronicles.” If no one gets them all the highest score will win. (Offer open to US residents only, sorry. Only one answer per question. You may enter multiple times. Like Papal Infallibility the decision of the camel as to the correct answers is final).
99 points = You are Omniscient and possibly God!
98 – 75 points = Apostle material to a god of your choice
74- 68 points = You should have your own cult
67 -50 points = Your time in purgatory will be reduced by 50%
49- 30 points = Read more, watch Jersey Shore less.
29 and below = You are obviously theist …why are you even here?