Monday, October 17, 2011

No Fool like an Old Christian Fool: End of World Round 4



October 21 is fast approaching and with it the End of the World...again. The multi-millionaire religious broadcaster and doomsday nutter Harold Camping has recovered from the stroke he suffered following his May 21 failed rapture prediction and is just lucid enough to assure us this time he's not fooling around.

Harold says that there is no mistake, it's certain and it ain’t gonna be pretty. The world will come to a sudden and immediate end on October 21. No period of Tribulation, no mincing around with the Anti-Christ for seven years. Only those who were selected by God during the May 21 non-event (his latest explanation for what happened on May 21 that wasn’t discerned by anyone but him) will be saved. The rest of us, and the planet Earth, will cease to exist in a blinding flash of fire and earthquake. That would be the quintessential hell and brimstone end.

The media is pretty much ignoring him this time. Well, the major media outlets anyway. The Christian Post, an online source of religious idiocy geared toward Christians who just can’t get their fill of daily delusional douche-baggery, has published no fewer than four stories on Camping’s latest prediction. http://global.christianpost.com/news/harold-camping-oct-21-rapture-preacher-takes-engineer-approach-to-reading-bible-58317/

Even while they dismiss Camping as wrong headed...or just wrong, it appears they just can’t break the habit of sucking at the teet of any religious whore that happens to carry a bible or wear a cross around his or her neck. I can’t even conjure up a situation that would be analogous to this fixation in a secular context. It’s peculiar to Christians it seems.

Unlike the May 21 foolishness, this predication doesn’t do much for my Eternal Earth-Bound Pets post rapture pet rescue service. Last May I was up for as long as 36 hours straight doing interviews all over the world by phone and Skype every thirty minutes. This time I received only one email from one hapless and not too savvy reporter asking if I’ve seen an up-tick in business. I called her and schooled her on Camping’s new and improved explosive prediction, explaining that the planet becoming a ball of fire and crinkled up cinder doesn’t exactly encourage the sale of pet rescue contracts. She sounded genuinely disappointed that I had nothing more to offer.

Maybe as the 21st approaches, and assuming it’s a slow news week, we’ll see more on this. Not likely we’ll be seeing buses carrying signs declaring the End is near filled with hopeful Christians welcoming the Earth’s demise. They seemed to have decided to sit this one out probably because having been burned three times by Camping since 1994 they want to retain what dignity they still have, and not to expose themselves to anymore ridicule than absolutly necessary.

As for Camping? He has no dignity. He has partial use of his brain, lots of money, a massive dose of prophet-envy, a terminal case of religiosity, and one foot in the grave. Perhaps on October 22nd Harold will summon just enough dignity to lower the other foot.

11 comments:

Paige said...

I just wanted to say how RELIEVED I am that that world will not be incinerated until after my birthday on the 19th. It gives me a couple days to spite anyone who doesn't get me something good. As well as a couple days to enjoy whatever cool things I get! Jesus loves me!!

NewEnglandBob said...

If the old fool kicks off that day, I will buy a shovel and help bury him.

Anonymous said...

If the old idget dies Oct 21, then I guess it really was "end of the world" from this fossils view point.

I'm still disapointed the fundie Xtians were not raptured away in May, resulting in the world being (in general) a better place for those left behind.

- Fastthumbs

Joyce said...

Until you posted this, I'd completely forgotten about this weirdo.

The honest truth? He really bores me. I, for one, *can* wait to hear his explanation for why we're all still here in a few days. :::yawn:::

gristleoflife said...

Great post. Once the 21st silently rolls on by, he best thing he could do on the 22nd is commit suicide. Jumping into an active volcano would be a fitting end, since he seems to have such longing for fire and brimstone.

Anonymous said...

Oh hell! my sister next to me is having a birthday on the 22nd and according to Camping she won't be around to see it. Great. Xtians like this nutter need to return to their churches and be quiet, and save their outrageous end of days fantasies for their fellow deluded and superstitious true believers.

Gerard26 said...

Not this again,the fundies and their nonsense never stops.

longhorn believer said...

I'm so glad to see Camping finally getting the appropriate amount of attention that he deserves- practically none. The life of a prophet usually ends in one of two ways... with an ignominious whimper or a bloody martyrdom ceremony. Where's Pontius Pilate when you need him?

tiNstAg said...

Well, Harry's personal end of the world can't be that far off, but I'm cracking open a beer to see in the the 21st of October on the East coast with a smile on my face. Meanwhile Rapture Day is nearly halfway through in Australia already and there has been no reporting of Godly activity yet. Funny that. No worries mate.

David said...

When Harold had his stroke I really wanted him to pull through till after the 21st. I am really looking forward to seeing what he has to say when he realises that this latest dooms day prediction is the big steaming load of bullshit we all knew it was all along.

GatorApe said...

I'm still here. Is that good or bad?