Many of you have probably been asking yourselves “Isn’t it almost time for Hump’s Annual Non-Religiously Oriented, Short List Rant of Secular Annoyances?” If you are among those astute readers, indeed you are correct. It is precisely that time.
So here, in no particular order are a few of the things that have irked the hell out of me over the past year that have absolutely nothing to do with religion or the religiously afflicted as far as I can ascertain. If some appeared on a prior years’ list it is due to my poor memory and my perpetual disdain for the subject.
1. Magnum Ice cream bar commercial where an attractive actress leaves her car in a sweltering traffic jam, and trots across the hoods of her fellow stalled drivers’ cars to reach the ice cream truck parked a dozen vehicles back. And under the image is this disclaimer: “DO NOT ATTEMPT.” (see above)
I struggle to understand exactly the intent here. Is it to imply that anyone stupid enough to buy their ice cream must be stupid enough to re-enact such a preposterous stunt? Can they really believe a moron, or psychopath would appear in court with their equally moronic lawyer and use the defense: “But your honor...they didn’t say NOT to destroy the hoods and roofs of a dozen cars!!” and also believe that without the disclaimer they’d be found liable, at least outside of
3. Alec Baldwin’s useless brother Steven has been the target of my wrath in the past for his failed acting career, and his addiction to drugs, alcohol, Xtian fundamentalism and gross stupidity. But this year Alec himself takes the spotlight.
Oh... and by the way, I don’t care how much of a Liberal you are, or that it was fourteen years ago - calling for the death of a politician and the execution of their family because you don’t like their politics should have gotten you a few years bunking with “Ben Dover” in a federal prison. Maybe next time. Maniac.
Look, Anthony, once you are caught trolling with your pocket fisherman, don’t go announcing you’re going to make a run for mayor of NYC. Even your Mom probably laughed at that. Who are you going for the priest and porn vote?. What’s that, maybe 15%, 18% of the population of NYC? C’mon. You should be too embarrassed and ashamed to even appear on TV news shows. You probably don’t realize the only reason you are given those gigs is because your appearance is tantamount to giving people a car wreck to watch. They are disgusted, but just can’t turn away.
On the down side, the aide in question IS married to Anthony Weiner, so we do have to question her Muslim taste in Jewish perverts. Bachmann would serve her country best by getting plastered to the grill of a bus traveling down