Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Just a few post election thank you notes (with apologies to Jimmy Fallon)



I hope you don’t mind, but I have to get these thank you notes out.  I’ll just be a moment or two. Cue the soft piano music ...


THANK YOU Billy Graham, for backing Romney as the champion of “Biblical Values” in spite of having previously declared Mormonism a cult on your web site, then subsequently quietly purging said condemnation, thus proving to the world ...again... what a phony and hypocrite you are.

THANK YOU failed GOP candidates Todd Akin (MO)and Richard Mourdock (Indiana), for professing your devout religiosity and brilliant medical knowledge, thus enlightening your state’s electorate - and the rest of a disgusted nation - about rape, it’s relation to god’s will, and the varying degrees of acceptable sexual assault.  Most elucidating.

THANK YOU Catholic Bishops, for indirectly threatening your flock with opposing god’s will if they vote for Obama, thus demonstrating the dwindling credibility and impotency of the Church over American Catholics who voted Obama over Romney  by 50 versus 48 percent.

THANK YOU  Paul Ryan, for your last minute election eve attempt to paint Obama as the anti- “Judeo-Christian Values” candidate.  It proved to all of us that the majority of the country are smart enough not  to share your idiotic obsession with the bible’s demand for valuing the killing of witches, homosexuals, or those who glean the fields on the Sabbath. 

THANK YOU  Mike Huckabee, ex-preacher, failed presidential wanna be, and impotent purveyor of religious imbecility, for telling folks that voting for Obama  will result in their damnation.  Evidently the only people that seemed to effect were your inbred, semi-literate Southern brethren who would have voted for a Republican talking mule; thus further underscoring the declining impact of religion and supernatural threats on a majority of the nation’s voters.

THANK YOU  Evangelical Fundamentalist Born Again Far Right Religious Fanatics, Christian Nation zealots,  Talk Radio Fascists, and Tea Baggers, for exposing your loss of influence,  proving that you are 19th century emperors with no clothes in a 21st century America.  Your failing may well encourage the GOP toward a more inclusive and less strident social platform, lest they become forever irrelevant.  Thank ya Cheezus.

Finally, but most importantly ...

THANK YOU  women, moderate/liberal Christians, gays, freethinkers, Latinos, and Americans of intellect, reason, modernity, equality, civility and humanity for once again reminding me that this nation is better than I had given it credit for.  I've never been happier to be proven wrong.    


Yours truly,
D. Hump

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your welcome!

- Fastthumbs

David said...

Thank you America for doing the right thing, for the sake of us here in the rest of the world.

Anonymous said...

Hump - Please correct your error in stating that Todd Aiken was from Minnesota. He is from Missouri. As a Minnesotan, I feel we have enough of a cross to bear in Michelle Bachman without having another nut case attributed to us.

Joyce said...

Well, thank you for including me in that bunch! I'm flattered! And I thank my conservative state of Ohio and my lovely liberal home state of Connecticut for having great intelligence in casting their votes!

Love,
Your favorite female moderate/liberal Christian :)

Laci The Dog said...

Let's see, there were so many reasons to want to see the Republicans strongly repudiated, but using religion in a public forum is one of the more egregious.

BTW, I ran into Babette Josephs at my polling place who told me that he failing to say the pledge receive more approval than disapproval.

Proof yet again that these people want to force their opinions on others.

Rainne said...

You're quite welcome!

~Signed,

A freethinking gay Latina-American woman of intellect, reason, modernity, equality, civility and humanity.

NewEnglandBob said...

I like "you are 19th century emperors with no clothes in a 21st century America". I am so going to steal that. But it is all well said.

Dromedary Hump said...

OOps... sorry, indeed Akin is from MO. So corrected.

Thanks again all.

Carl said...

Thanks for the correction Hump it's bad enough we have Michelle Bachman but she is good for comedians.

gristleoflife said...

Wonder if Old Billy will put Mormonism back up on his website as one of the "cults" now. That was the ultimate in hypocrisy. Guess he thought no one would notice the website deletion just prior to his endorsement.

Obama re-elected. Faith in America : restored. Shit, I may even put my flag back up. ;)

P.S. Love your last statement.

tiNstAg said...

I guess Mitt's amazing magical underpants and the "mega-prayer" that was organized just didn't work...

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Hump,
I thought that was very kind and considerate of you to send out your "Thank You" cards. It shows you are a man of class. :-)

With this Presidential election under our belt, I would impress to all that we NOW go after the dysfunctional Extreme Conservative Tea Party members, Religious Fanatics, and others of the same mindset in Congress and Senate to have them purged from those institutions by 2014.

Expose the stagnating Reactionary Republican members for what they are; wisely select viable, challenging candidates to replace those in Congress and Senate now, and not to let up for the next two years until the 2014 election. Let's turn the tide and have them see first hand how it feels to be in the preverbal “Crosshairs” as targets.

If this element is replaced in 2014, this will give the President at least two years to complete the aspects that need to be addressed and hopefully sanity will be reestablished in our government.