Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Jesus is Coming, Jesus is Coming! Heck, 1 out of 2 Xtians can't be wrong, can they?

The headline in the Huffington Post reads: How Many U.S. Christians Believe Christ's 'Second Coming' Will Happen Soon? More Than You May Think

The headline implies we’ll be surprised. Well, I’m surprised, but for a completely different reason.

The 2010 Pew Survey (resurrected for Easter 2013 it seems) asked Christians if they thought Jesus’ second coming will happen in the next forty years. Forty-seven percent said yes. Another twenty-eight percent said “probably not.” Fourteen percent said “don’t know,” and only 10% said “definitely not”. Whole story and chart here:

I don’t know about you, but I’d have guessed higher than 47%. That’s why I’m surprised. Let’s face it; we live in the most religious nation in the Western and Industrialized world. Our list of religiously inspired imbecility can’t be touched by any other. Just a few examples:

- Shyster televangelists who rake in millions of dollars from gullible sheep as “prayer offerings.”

- Snake handlers whose deluded adherents regularly risk (and accomplish) totally unnecessary death due to their beliefs.

- We have the second highest percentage of Creationist believers who reject evolutionary theory (49%); a level of scientific ignorance surpassed only by Turkey.

- School boards who want Creationism taught in science classes.

- Fanatics who time and again depend on prayer and withhold medical aid to sick children allowing them to die unnecessarily.

- National politicians who invoke God, Crusade, or demonic activity as justification for war; and who site the bible for their opposition to gay marriage and a woman’s right to choose.

- Religious leaders who regularly blame gays and/or the lack of prayer in school for natural disasters or acts of mass murder; declare our president “the Anti-Christ”; and demonstrate at military funerals spewing their homophobic hate. .

- Local governments that thumb their collective noses at the separation of church and state by insisting their government meetings be opened with “The Lord’s Prayer”; or that their religious symbols should be given a place of honor on government property.

- Judges whose decisions are guided as much, or more, by their interpretation of the bible than by the US or their state’s Constitution; or who see no conflict in sentencing a defendant to church attendance in lieu of a fine or imprisonment.

Given this and other indicators of US Christian crazy can anyone really be surprised that almost half of Christians think their dead man-god is going to be coming down from the heavens with a “sword in his mouth” mounted on a horse, trumpets blaring to end the world as we know it and rule over the planet within the next forty years?

After all, even though he is reported to have said he’d return in the lifetime of his contemporaries (Matt 24:34), every generation of Christians has expected Jesus’ return to happen in their life time, going back 1700 years - roughly 85 generations. No doubt each of them were surprised it didn’t happen. One would think that would be a hint, an indication, a suggestion that maybe, just maybe the fictional Jesus’ biographers were full of shit.

But at least believers are consistently foolish. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said :
”A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers and divines.”


NewEnglandBob said...

Like the old comics's joke "I'll be here all week, folks" this one is "I'll be here another millennium, folks".

Dromedary Hump said...

"try the veal, and don't forget to tip your server."
That Jesus...what a kidder. ;)

Carl said...

Alright Hump your making me think Europe is a utopia after all. Passport is ready!

Dromedary Hump said...

Nah, Carl... we may have more crazies, but we're moving in the right direction.
Hang in there.

Iris Vander Pluym said...

"Heck, 1 out of 2 Xtians can't be wrong, can they?"

All Christians are wrong, of course. But don't worry. If Jesus is coming, we'll get him again.

Graham ASH-PORTER said...

2,000 years of any day now...

Anonymous said...

I hope you're right Hump, about religiosity in America. Meanwhile, in Amsterdam, Holland, my easter conversation with a local shopgirl went like this:
Shopgirl: "How are you celebrating Easter this year?"
Me: "I don't celebrate easter...I'm not religious"
Shopgirl: Ha! Me Neither..But I meant, will you be eating a lot of chocolate over the holidays"
Me: "Yes, I worship chocolate"
Shopgirl: "Me too!"

itsmecrazydad said...

Drom, are you sure we're headed in the right direction? (As you said to Carl.) My impression is that in the 70s and 80s there were no School Boards considering giving creation equal standing with science. Is the divide growing, or is it just better identified now than before?

Dromedary Hump said...

Irs: LOL. In deed, and next time we aren't leaving a corpse.

Graham: Yup, it's just around the corner. If only believers wold hold their collective breaths til then.

Anon: That's priceless!!! Oh, to experience life in a nation where religiosity is a curiosity.
I worship Peeps. They offer them come in a sugar free formula now.
Thank ya Jeeezus!!

Dromedary Hump said...

in '68 the supreme ct declared that it was unconstiututional to prohibit the teaching of evolutionary theory in public schools, as some states had done.

In 1987 the supreme ct ruled that Louisiana's requiring the teaching of creationism along side the teaching of evolution was unconstitutional as it was patently religious teaching.

The attempts to introduce Intelligent Design, as Creaionism in disguise, have again been declared religiously inspired doctrine and not science, inspite of attempts to sneak it into schools. Those attempts continue.Some Xtian school boards try and circumvent the intent and spirit of the supreme ct rulings by declaring ID totally non-religious, as a rather transparent ploy.

At best, school boards are trying to get teachers to make declarations of "there are alternative theories" to evolution when teaching evolution; and to allow kids to be excused from classes that are in opposition to Creationism.

So while we hear alot about the latter situations, the supreme court has pretty much put the kibosh on attempts to make creationism a scientific discussion in public schools.

However, a class specifically devoted to the teaching of various religions' creation doctrines would be legal, as long as it did not show preference for one doctrine over the many others.

Hope that helped.

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's under 50% because the rest are going to heaven straight away rather than having to wait for Jesus?