Too soon for the finery you say ... Christmas is still over two weeks away? Nope…not this finery. This attire includes a the figurative hair shirt, upon which they will figuratively flagellate themselves as the devout Christian martyrs of another age were famous for.Yes, tis the season to bemoan the annual persecution of the Christians.
If you’re asking wtf I’m talking about then you just haven’t been paying attention …or mercifully are too smart to watch FOX News. Here, the Christian martyr himself, Bill O’Reilly, will ‘splain it to you with his annual rant:
Yes, that’s right … we, the evil hell bound godless heretics, are out to destroy Christmas. We’re out to demean, deny, and otherwise dis Christians, Christmas and their imaginary man-god himself. They are being persecuted every bit as much as the fabled Xtian lion food of old. How so? Because stores are saying “Happy Holidays” instead of Merry Christmas, and schools are giving kids a “Winter (or holiday) Break” instead of Christmas Break. What’s more, atheist scum are demanding equal space on town property to put up secular displays alongside Christian nativity scenes … as is required by the law. Even the Satanists are getting in on the equal space requirement, demanding their fallen angel displays get equal consideration (see below).
So, Christians ... here are a couple of news flashes for you, the 76% majority, who wring their hands over their persecution by the 8-10% of this nation’s freethinkers - brace yourselves:
1. CHRISTIANS DO NOT OWN THE MONTH OF DECEMBER 2. CHRISTMAS IS NOT THE ONLY OBSERVED DECEMBER HOLIDAY
Shocking I know. The other December holiday observances include: Hanukkah, Kwanza, The Winter Solstice, and New Years Eve. Thus, when someone wishes one “Happy Holidays”, they aren’t dising your celebration, they simply aren’t making an assumption by singling out any one particular holiday. They are covering the gamut with no preconceived notion as to what holiday the recipient of their well wishes observes, if any. Simple as that. Too reasonable for you? Too rationale? Too radical? Too bad!
If still confused this simple chart may be helpful.
Now, do I care if I am wished a Merry Christmas? No, I do not. I will neither be offended nor hostile. I simply chalk it up to that person making the erroneous assumption that I am one of this nation’s majority religion. After all, the odds favor it. No harm no foul. I may reply in kind. But if I should respond with “and Happy Holidays to you” let it be received with nothing other than a smile and graciousness.
In short, Christians, your pretend baby man-god’s birthday celebration is safe. It will still go on unencumbered by raging atheists in jack boots wielding truncheons, defiling your displays, burning your Churches, or hunting you down and dragging you out into the street to be shipped off to some torture chamber or death camp.
So, my dear readers, when you hear a Christian sobbing about attempts to destroy Christmas and persecute them, show them this article. You can also reassure them that even when we become the majority, we’ll treat them with a kindness they never afforded us.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES