Friday, January 23, 2009

I Found Him!!! My Search is at an End!!! Hallelujah!!

That’s right, you heard me. I found Him! My quest is finally over. No, not Jesus or some incarnation of a similarly mythical sky-monkey, better. I found “The Stupidest Fundie on the Internet”.

As atheists you are no doubt skeptical. You might say: “Oh come now, Hump, you exaggerate. With all the imbecilic Christian whackos running loose you can’t possibly be sure he’s the stupidest.” I understand and respect your reservations. Indeed, you are entitled to proof. Here it comes. You be the judge.

“Glenn” wandered into an atheist blog I peruse frequently. Initially I pegged him as an atheist joker because of the outlandish statements he was making. But it turns out he has his own blog that confirms his creationist, Satan / Jimmy Hendrix connection, bible as literal, man riding dinosaurs, end of the world coming, science rejecting, fire and brimstone mania. The following is just a sample taken verbatim from his comments in that atheist blog over just three short posts:

“Science has now proven the theories of the bible to be correct.”

“This team, went out in the 80's and dedicated their whole lives to finding any evidence to prove the bible correct. They found 3, Noahs ark, Soddom [sic] and Gommorah [sic], and the Ark of the covenant [sic].

“If you look at the most recent findings from Dr Kent Hovind and his crew .... Dinosaurs were buried with man.”

“If the big bang did happen, then why are not all the plannets [sic], suns, stars and moons, spinning the same directions? which they are not!???”

“DO you think humanity is now worthy enough to be spoken to by God? no way, if he was to speak you would perish as we are not devine [sic] enough to withstand it.”

“Archaeologists have spend the last 40 years trying to prove Evolution correct, which they have failed, but in turn have proven that the bible is more accurate than any other theory.”

Naturally when asked for evidence of, support for, any of his statements of “fact”, he never responds. Where can we find the Ark of the Covenant now that it has been discovered? No answer. What physical laws require all planets to rotate the same direction? Nothing. Who are these accredited archeologists? Nada.

I imagine that when he says these crazy things in fundie groups he is hailed as a veritable prophet and lauded for his “scientific knowledge” and devotion to the Lard. He wasn't smart enough to discern the implications of making these inane statements to a group of fundie Christians, and making them to thinking people. He abruptly disappeared.

If there was a Golden Globe award for “Most Moronic Christian in a Supporting Role”, I’d put this clown up against anyone you can come up with. He is the best argument I can find for retroactive abortion and how religion encourages ignorance and cultivates stupidity. Here’s his blog; it’s a hoot. Leave your intellect at the door:


Joyce said...


I 'skimmed' through his first page of posts and closed it before I even finished skimming.

Oh, no, you haven't found 'him' unfortunately. You only found one of many like him.

What's the point of blogs like that anyhow? True, I share some stories about my own personal life and those experiences that I've had in God on my own blog, but those are my personal experiences and not meant to prove others wrong -- just to share some things that I found to be cool, hopeful, and true and relevant to ME.


HoleyHands said...


DromedaryHump said...


I guess people like him have a need to invent justifications for his beliefs. If nothing real an support the belief, then invent something that gives hope of realness. Perhaps he sees it as a service to other strenghten them.

I wonder if he is even aware of the things he is saying are gross inventions. Initially I assumed it's intentional deception, but it may well be he is so committed to needing confirmation that he believs the things he says himself.

I wonder if I didn't find it so creepy and frustrating if I could actually muster sympathy for him. Mmmm...NAH!!! :)

Radames said...

I've checked the Blog...

Sincerely, what a trip! He really makes me believe... in human stupidity. Naiveté in its purest form, conjugated with an enormous ego and a boundless supply of dumbness: he must feel himself a prophet!
That was the worst piece of crap I’ve ever seen. Never before I contemplated such bending of the scientific discoveries or their fabrication out of thin air! (His scientific data is the only thing created from nothing! He’s almost a god himself!).
Thanks for the link, DromedaryHump! It was hilarious!

(Sorry for any English error, I’m Brazilian, you see…)

DromedaryHump said...


Joyce is right..there are lots of them out there, but his guy just struck me as particularly moronic.

By the way, your English is better than mine. :)


Tracey said...

Ok, the search is on. I'm going to try to find a nuttier fundy.

DromedaryHump said...

Ah ha!! a Challenge , eh???
Give it your best shot.


Joyce said...

This guy definitely deserves an honorable mention : FALSE CHRISTIANS WILL BE DESTROYED SOON BY GOD !

Enviado: 16/12/2008 1:13

Barack Hussein Obama and his brother, they are from Islam

The new president of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, shame
of you Yankees !

FALSE CHRISTIANS EVERYWHERE, like Barack Hussein Obama and his team, Barack is an Islam' muslim, he is a socialist and a "sionist", alert !

The destruction of the social-politic-economic and religious sistem arround the world right now !, the paradise is coming !

And remember, you are in the eye of the Typhoon ! :

To translate phrases or a total web page use the MSN translator, or the Google Translator... ( open in a new tab ), and see this:

If you dare to continue to read, don't say I didn't warn you!

DromedaryHump said...

Hmmm... a close contender, certainly worthy of consideration. Kudos on your nominee.

But I'm not sure its fair to use crazy christians who are foreign, illiterate, or mentally handicapped... or all three, as this candidate certainly appears to be. ;)

Colwyn Abernathy said...

"no way, if he was to speak you would perish as we are not devine [sic] enough to withstand it.”

Wow...SOMEBODY really liked DOGMA.