Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Enraged Christian Sends Scorching Letter of Protest to Post Rapture Pet Rescue Site

Well, seems some Christians (not the "True" Christians of course) are upset with my Eternal Earth-Bound Pets post rapture pet rescue service. http://www.eternal-earthbound-pets.com/
"Arlene's" letter to Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, and my response which follows it, need no more introduction than that. Enjoy.

This is a ridiculous scam!

I, for one, believe that the Lord will either take or provide for our pets. I believe this because the Bible says that all creation groans for the Lords return. He put that yearning in them so why would they want Him to come back if they weren’t going too? He says that He will create a new heaven and earth where animals will live with us just as in the Garden of Eden.

I’m sure atheists would not be aware of what the Bible says about these things. But I know that the Lord is our provider and true Christians trust Him to supply and care for our every need. Providing for our pets are our need. He would not use atheists for our provision and care givers but… the deceiver would!

So…any so called “Christian” who falls for this scam of yours is wasting their money because they won’t be going in the rapture either.

Please refrain from showing up in my inbox again.

Dear Arlene,

Thanks for your letter.

Just for the record, I sent you no email. We do not send spam emails to anyone. Evidently someone you know sent it to you. Check the address.

As for your particular interpretation of scripture: that’s Your interpretation. There are approximately 50 million fundamentalist Christians in the US who will tell you that YOU are not a "true" Christian. But, that’s between you and them.

As for scripture, allow me to assure you, that I am not only well versed, I am considered something of a semi / demi-scholar on both the Tanakh (what you refer to as the “Old Testament”), and the New Testament.
Frankly I find your "Garden of Eden" on Earth concept in a post apocalyptic world immediately following the Rapture and during the Tribulation, to be rather wanting for scriptural support. But that's classicly indicative of Christians' tendency toward torturing scriptural verse into submission to make it justify their preferred view point. Nevertheless, you have a lovely imagination.

You’re entitled to your perspective of Christian dogma. There are over 2,800 sects/denominations of Christianity world wide. If they all agreed on exactly what your god's words meant, there wouldn't be so many of them... there would be only one. Glad to hear it's YOUR sect / YOUR denomination / YOUR personal perspective that is the correct one. That must be very comforting for you.

Have a nice trip.
I just hope no one eats your dog for lunch while you’re gone.

Best regards,



HoleyHands said...

Why Don't Bees Go to Heaven?

Dromedary Hump said...

OMG HH!!! thats the BEST video I ever heard/saw!!!


Tracey said...

Disclaimer: The following statements are not to be taken as endorsement, acquiescence or belief in xtian skydaddy or any other deity.

Did it ever enter Ms. Pissedofffundy's little fundy brain that perhaps EEBP IS skydaddy's way of providing for the pets of the true believers in a post-rapture world? Maybe she's scorning her skydaddy's big plan by not only turning up her nose at EEBP, but also by condemning those who do take advantage of a service that was perchance the great plan of skydaddy after all.

Dromedary Hump said...

good point..i may use that in the future. I have already recd two more whacko xtian letters of protest.

They are laughable. Each one reinforces my belief in the sub-intellect of theists .

One actully said that by reading the pet rescue FAQS page, it is evident i believe in the Rapture.

Stupidity of theists isn't just skin deep..it goes right to the bone.

Anonymous said...


That's one of the best video I've seen as well.


Perhaps in the FAQ you should add the link to this video so that:
1) It makes it clear you DON'T Believe
2) Reinforces the point that animals don't go to heaven
3) Give a good laugh to any thinking person.

Although I'm sure this may not be the best thing to actually promote subscribers though... however, if it even gets a fundie to become a non-fundie, it may be worthwhile.

- Fastthumbs

Dromedary Hump said...

Mmmmmm...nah. I'll pass on that idea.

Anonymous said...


There is some truth to that old adage, no good deed ever goes unpunished. I am appalled that these people destined to rise into the clouds and live forever in a wonderous place devoid of dog shit dare to question your obvious motivation of simply caring for animals. They can petition those on Olympus all they want and these soulless creatures can only lick their nuts so long before compassionate intervention is quite necessary. It's but a nominal fee and hardly an issue to get a serrated burr up one's ass about. To appease the mouth foaming zealots, perhaps you can offer to water plants as well (for a paltry sum of course). In the mean time, I shall beseech St George, the patron saint of Syphilis and skin diseases to help rid those astray of their inner hatred, not to mention any burning sensation they have when they pee.


Dromedary Hump said...


As usual.. you are the epitome of clear thinking and an icon of logic.
But more importantly... fuckin' funny!!!!


No Guy in the Sky said...

Hump - "So…any so called “Christian” who falls for this scam of yours is wasting their money because they won’t be going in the rapture either." Is she saying anyone who gets scammed ... can not get raptured? Wow - Since Christianity/Religion is a scam, is that proof none will be raptured?

Dromedary Hump said...

No guy,

While I am fluent in Christian-speak, this nutty womans statement has even me confused.

I think whe is saying the rapture isn't biblical (which is correct) and thus they ain't beaming up anyway, so why spend the money.

Hey..let her fight it out with the whackjobs that believe in it. I say we put a rapture believing xtian and a non-rapture believing xtian in a dark room with ice picks, and the one who walks out alive gets to decide the christian doctrine for everyone.

seems as reasonable as any resolution.

And the way they throw around the word "scam", as if they haven't been sucked into the biggest scam ever perpetrated by mankind on mankind... religion.

silly christians