Wednesday, July 1, 2009

“I’m a Religious Nut and Non-Celebrity Loser … Please Kill Me Now!”


Before I rant on, let me first make it perfectly clear that I have never, and will never, view a single episode of the show that I am paraphrasing above. I consider the entire premise unworthy of my time. It demonstrates how low NBC has fallen, and the contempt in which they hold the viewing public. Based on the show’s strong ratings, the contempt is well deserved.

Not only are these people not celebrities in any sense of the word a thinking person would recognize, they are so vapid, so devoid of intellect, character or self respect that I fear I would commit mayhem if exposed to more than the flickering nanosecond it takes to switch to another station when the ads for it come on.

This led me to wonder: Given the desperate cry for attention that caused these third rate washed up media whores to participate in this show, how many of them are believers? I mean, lets face it … you’re not going to find atheist celebrities like Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Natalie Portman, Woody Allen, Keanu Reeves, Jodie Foster, etc. etc., etc. signing on to this kind of low brow idiocy. Nah … this has got to be strictly the purview of theist losers.

So I did some quick research on the cast members of “I’m a Celebrity…. Etc.” Here are the results:

Stephen Baldwin: an alcoholic and the least talented of the five (six?) acting Baldwin brothers, Stephen is an avowed Born Again Christian. He can’t find legitimate employment being erratic and marginally retarded likely from his years of substance abuse, besides being just plain stupid. He credits Jesus for saving him from one mind numbing addiction and giving him another. Evidently he either conducted a baptism of the cast, or was asked to… and tried to proselytize among his less saved cast members.

In Wiki under “Mindless Rightwing Fanatic Fundie,” there is a picture of Stephen Baldwin, or there should be.

Daniel Baldwin: the second least talented of the Baldwin brothers. Loser, he has been arrested numerous times. Self proclaimed Born Again Christian. No surprise there.

Heidi and Spencer Pratt: two people who I have never heard of outside of this show. I take it that much like Paris Hilton they are famous for being famous, and that’s all. Evidently this Spencer jerk went ape-shit on the show to which his wife Heidi, a long time Christian it seems, exclaimed: "he is new to Christianity." I take that to mean that all new Christians go ape-shit(?). Later Spencer leads the group in prayer, which has the miraculous effect of convincing him to stick out the show and disgrace himself further. Hallelujah!

Patti BlogoWhatsHerFace: the wife of the disgraced, impeached, dismissed and soon to be imprisoned Gov. of Illinois -- he is Serbian Orthodox. I don’t know what she is. But she has been seen attending church with him. Thus she is theist, if only based on guilt by association.

Janice Dickenson: I have no idea what or who that is. She says she is Catholic.

Sanjaya Malakar: Not satisfied with just one imaginary god, this clown and American Idol reject is a Hindu. He’ll work for peanuts, just like his elephant god Ganesh. Vishnu be praised!!!

The rest of the cast are too obscure to actually have any info about them readily accessible on the net, but the point is made. There are no atheists, no skeptics, not even an agnostic who is so lacking in self respect, intellect or money to lend themselves to this offering of visual fecal matter, and potpourri of morons. No. It takes a theist to stoop to that level. Amen.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

The rest of the cast are too obscure to actually have any info about them readily accessible on the net, but the point is made.

I checked to make sure; The blonde piece (of crap)is former WWE "superstar" Torrie Wilson who's best achievement (AFAIK) is having a good body (the majoritys opinion, not mine). I'm somewhat amazed you were unable to drudge up any information on her and equally ashamed I recognised her; Given the size of the WWE fanbase she at least counts as a (probably former) celebrity even if she lacks talent.

I should point out in the interest of fairness that not all female WWE "superstars" are necessarily retarded. A former one has degrees in 3 foreign languages and I've heard another blonde stick has a good brain on her but I can't remember the basis for this claim and I can't say I care.

Dromedary Hump said...

No offense, Anon...but I don't even know what WWE stands for.

I see you dont mention her religioyus perspective... thus she is obscure enough not to even have that researchable on the net.

But whatever she is or whatever WWE means, I'd bet dollars to doughnuts she is a believer.

Hump

Anonymous said...

No offense, Anon...but I don't even know what WWE stands for.

World Wrestling Entertainment (or more accurately: World "Wrestling" "Entertainment").

But whatever she is or whatever WWE means, I'd bet dollars to doughnuts she is a believer.

A pretty viable bet. A fair number of "superstars" are; probably the vast majority actually.