Saturday, February 20, 2010

Right & Wrong: Chastised By a Xtian, Hump Exposes a Theist Blind Spot

This email to Eternal Earth-Bound Pets by an irate defender of the faithful needs no introduction:

“You should be ashamed of yourselves!!! You are not providing a service, you are nothing but scam artists playing on peoples fears.” …

“Your ‘service’ is comprised of atheists, correct? Atheists do not believe in the Rapture, correct? So you know perfectly well you are taking people's money strictly on their fears of leaving their pets behind.

“… It angers me that you are taking advantage of people to supplement your income. I'm angry because there seem to be so many people who are easy targets, those who do not stop long enough to think about what they're doing.” … “ Surely you can agree … Christian or atheist, this is wrong.”

My response:

Dear Lisalf,

If I understand you correctly, Lisalf, in order to "target" people one must first be a believer.

You see, I wonder how many of these letters you've written to Pat Robertson, the late Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Jim Bakker, Benny Hinn, or any of the thousands of churches, pastors or priests to whom each parishioner is an "easy target" and has been for centuries. Picking their pockets, bludgeoning them with guilt, leading them to believe their donations feather their nests in heaven, and giving them false hope in exchange for a prayer offering. Indeed, the less affluent one is, the greater percentage of their income is lifted from them; in spite of even impoverished conditions.

These believer shaman don't just supplement their income from the pockets of their faithful flock, it is their very livelihood. They feed at the trough day in and day out at the expense of the willingly lead ... the fearful and the hopeful. And yet, what does the guilt coerced contributor get in exchange? A guarantee of salvation? A promise of eternal life? Assurance of life in the stratosphere with furry animals and wings on their shoulder blades? These promises, these assurances, have the same effect as the promise of a ride across the Styx … and even then the dead must pay Charon, cash, to reach the Underworld.

I wonder Lisalf, how many of these letters have you written to these purveyors of myth for money? Is it just the thinking and un-indoctrinated to fable for whom you hold such antipathy and scorn, such adamant accusation of greed and mental extortion? Or do you write letters to Peter Popoff, and the Pope's treasurer, suggesting that they too know neither right from wrong? No need to reply. We both know the answer to that.

That you fail to see the value of my service, a genuine, real, here and now reality upon which a person can find hard and fast contractual commitment; yet readily see a value in the hallelujah shouting, the falsely pious ecstatic shaking and speaking in tongues, and the telling of ancient tales that of themselves are fear inducing not-so-veiled threats that have played on people's fears for millenniums -- speaks to a rather singular and narrow perspective. A narrow perspective you owe to those who have shunned reason and reality, and who profit from it.

Yours in reason,
Creator / Co-Owner Eternal Earth-Bound Pets


NewEnglandBob said...

Very true, Hump. The hypocrisy of the letter writer is apparent. He is just spewing forth his (not very Christian?) hate.

None of this includes the nearly 2000 years that the RCC held services in Latin only, which only the priests understood, so they could control and deceive the masses. Every one of those priests acted as a scam artist.

saffrons12 said...

A very sound, "Bravo!" to you Hump. Your response was concise, fair, and resolute.

The rampant hypocrisy of the "souls for sale" that christian leaders across the globe have been peddling for centuries is absolutely appalling. For instance, watching that purple(pink?)haired lunatic cry her way through the Trinity Hour begging for money whilst resting her holy derriere upon a golden throne surrounded by gaudy ill-begotten fortune, would be monumentally hysterical if it wasn't so astonishingly vulgar.

-Michelle Suzanne

P.S. Sorry, when I get pissed the adjectives come out in droves.

Dromedary Hump said...

Well maybe I made an impact on the fundie. He/She had exchanged two emails with me until I finalized it with what you see. Who knows, maybe it had an "Hmmmm!" moment. I'd like to think so. I doubt it.

Thanks. You'd think Xtians would see they have enough of their own to condemn, police and bitch about. But it's so endemic to their mind slavery I guess they can't see it, especially while there are godless immoral atheist scum out there to hammer.

zarton said...

The crazy part is, of all the easy targets she could have could have written to with intentions of bringing shame, she picked the one that not only would readily and upfont admit that they do not believe it to be a wise investment, but also the only one who could show any proof whatsoever that they can back up their particular claim. Personally, I love the idea. It is a way to up the ante, so to speak. If you really believe this crap then you should be willing to make provisions for the loved ones you leave behind.
godless immoral atheist scum,
p.s. what if there is a god who values wisdom, logic and morality over blind faith? Who are you going to leave your pets with if you get sucked up to the great chuckie cheese in the sky?

Rastifan said...

My uncle actually liked the idea. I sent him the link. He sees himself as a down to earth Christian who doesn’t buy all the miracles, but sees the bible as a “moral” compass and yadda yadda yadda. You know the drill.

He listened to the radio show to. He was kind of pissed. I quote!

“Why? Why does it always have to be one of the lesser intelligent Christian who calls in and makes the rest of us look like asses?”

I replied. “Uncle, when you say intelligent Christians” At which juncture he cut me off and said. “Don’t go there boy”.

Anyway he felt that if the Christians who believe in the rapture are sincere, this offer is something they really should take advantage of. It is in a way a testimony of their faith.

Ps! He hates TV evangelists and especially Pat Robertson. He said the man is an insult to idiots everywhere.

Dromedary Hump said...

Zar said: "... she picked the one that not only would readily and upfont admit that they do not believe it to be a wise investment, but also the only one who could show any proof whatsoever that they can back up their particular claim."

Zar, yep...that's their blind spot! In fact, its a double blind spot: total disclaimer of belief negates it's effacy/and completly non spiritual reality base service negates its value.

Rasti's Uncle said: "Why does it always have to be one of the lesser intelligent Christian who calls in and makes the rest of us look like asses?"
"Don’t go there boy”.

Rasti... Hahah. That was priceless!!! Thanks for that. Your Uncle sounds like one of the thinking good ones.

Dromedary Hump said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rachelle said...

Nailed it again, Hump! LOL!

Dromedary Hump said...


"Wow, Bart, I'm sorry, have I touched a nerve? Have you at sometime been hurt by a Christian?"

I LAUGHED SO HARD I SPILLED MY CUP OF CHRISTIAN INFANT BLOOD ALL OVER ME. There was apparently more to her letter, but frankly... who cares. I never finished it.

So I emailed an etract from the chapter in my book on hackneyed Christian platitudes that refers to the exxct same line.. then my MP3 interview with Alan Colmes, where I used the same line on the nutty fundie.

One of these days these vapid horses asses will catch on: we've heard them all before...find something new with which to avoid the reality of defat.

Enrico S said...

The notion that you MUST be a believer to offer a product or service to another believer is simply silly. Walk into your local Christian Bible bookstore. You will see thousands of products and trinkets made by people and companies that are by no means "believers".

Music, karaoke sing alongs, Christian greeting cards, tree ornaments, coffee mugs, T-Shirts, hats, ties, necklaces, clocks.
Spare me more typing and just look here:

These company's are simply creating products and services that believers feel add value to their life. I rather doubt that Lisalf checks to verify if these made by believers!

EEBPets is simply providing peace of mind for those believers who are not sure that their pets will join them in the clouds. Being an atheist should only further comfort the believer that someone will be here on earth to take care of Fido.

BTW: It would most certainly be a scam if the animal rescue service was being offered by another christian because no true christian would remain on earth to fulfill the contract post rapture.

Perhaps Lisalf is so angry because he/she has serious doubts about the validity of the rapture doctrine.


Dromedary Hump said...

Entirely correct and rational.

Unfortunately, thats the problem..rationality is not something to which these kind of theists subscribe.

In a section of her letter she mentioned that she was angry that I was preying on people's fears of what will happen to left behind pets.

Thus: In her "mind" better not to mention that issue, so people don't have to think about it, so no one will worry about it. Therefore I'm a villian fore bringing it up and having people worry.

Crazy convoluted thought processes is a hallmark of the rapture crowd.

Randall "Doc" Fleck said...

Wat to go... This earns a "Twitter and a re-Twitter"

Dromedary Hump said...

Ah... I've been tittertweeted?? cool. thks.

Contents under pressue said...


You should've mentioned Jim Jones :P

longhorn believer said...

Hump, love this post! Unfortunately, many fundies believe they are truly receiving eternal salvation in exchange for their donations :( Until I can get your book, what IS your response to xtians who say "you must have been hurt by a xtian"? I must have missed that part of your interview

Contents under pressue said...

I've always told you Hump, the people are going to raise a stink that while they're spirited away for the Rapture, they won't be able to know whether their pets are going to end up in a loving home.

If finding a new owner doesn't cover their worries, you might want to try another approach: How about Cryo-freezing the little critters? It worked for PETA.

Or we can always try a funeral pyre - the Vikings seemed to think that torching their belongings would allow them to bring it with them to Valhalla.

Or we can try the Egyptian and Chinese approach - bury the dogs with their owner! Alive, preferably. Yeah, that'd be more humane :P

Think, Hump! You can offer these as optional extras for those not thoroughly convinced of your group's current services.

You'll make a killing (in more ways than one)!

Dromedary Hump said...

During the interview I actually used the phrase on the fundie, substituting "secularlist" for "Christian." People used to hearing Xtians use the phrase caught on immediatly.

But your question is an interesting one. hat should the proper response be? You see, the posing of that question is intended to put you on the defense. If you tell them thats just stupid, no xtian ever hurt me you've already played into their hands "DENIAL!!".

Its similar to, though not precisely like, the old "So, have you stopped beating your wife yet?" trick question. How do you answer that one since you never beat your wife to begin with?

Fortunately, I have that chapter from my book that I can whip out and shove in their face that lsists the platitudes under specific classifications. Sorta like saying: "Uh.. cute...but we know that ploy; see, it's right here. What else ya got?" Makes em look stupid, which they are.

But if anyone here has a good comeback for the "if you were hurt by a Xtian..." crap, I'd appreciate your sharing it.

Dromedary Hump said...

Contents!!! LOL!!!

Tell ya what, you start up those services and I'll watch from a distance so as not to be injured in the collateral damage. Heheheheh!

longhorn believer said...

Hump, I remember what you said now. Actually that would work - just turning the question back on them i.e. "Are you a xtian because you've been hurt by an atheist?" When the answer is "I'm a christian because I beleive in Jesus or the bible etc etc", then you could simply say "And I'm an atheist because I don't"

longhorn believer said...

also, Dan Barker makes an excellent point in Godless. Even if you have been hurt by a xtian, are angry with god etc etc - that still doesn't prove god exists! So for me, I would not go back to religion because of the immoral behavior I have witnessed in church. That's why I gave up on RELIGION (along with not wanting to live in fear and follow their arbitrary rules), but that's not why I'm agnostic/atheist. That conclusion I reached through rational thought and observance of the natural world, long after I had left organized religion

Dromedary Hump said...

Long said: " I'm a christian because I beleive in Jesus or the bible etc etc", then you could simply say "And I'm an atheist because I don't"


I have Dan Barker's book, but been too busy to get into it quite yet.

Rachelle said...

Even if you were "hurt" by all the Christians in the world (or never hurt by any of them)...what would that have to do with whether any gods existed or not? LOL! This person seems to be assuming that you're an atheist cuz Christianity (or any other religion) "let you down" in some way...How about the fact that there is no good evidence for the existence of "God"/gods. LOL!

Dromedary Hump said...

Of course you're 100% correct.

But in the christian minds of these types they cannot conceive you being a non-believer without there having been some angst in your life that put you off christianity, or made you "hate god"

Since they lack reason, they assume everyone does. Thus they figure only some pain in your life could possibly have put you off being a mindslave to myth like them.

longhorn believer said...

Well I got chastised by a xtian tonight! My uncle sent my family an email saying he wished we were "living for god" the way we had been raised. I sent him a polite response explaining that we would not be attending pentecostal churches anymore. I told him we needed more compassion and less preaching. He responded back to tell me that the world is full of more hypocrits than the church, and that just because I went to college I wasn't the smartest person in the family! LOL He doesn't want me to email him anymore! My own uncle no less! Yes, that will do it. Reject me and I'll come running back to church! So much for xtian love and tolerance!

Dromedary Hump said...

I'm sorry to hear this about your Uncle.

Unfortunately, if the words attributed to Jesus could be called prophetic about anything it was his promise that he didn't comer to bring peace but to set families against each other, father against son, etc.

His admonshment being that one must abandon his family of the choice came down to belief in him, and them.

It's a sad fact that a myth can dissolve a blood bond. But such is the power religious fanaticism.

Hang tough.

Anonymous said...

@Longhorn Believer,

Here's something that I've been told that Christians don't normally think about that can be used as "ammo" to point out how bankrupt heaven/hell concept are:

Let's say for the moment that the Christian heaven/hell exists and that the Christian (your uncle) is going to heaven. How can he (your uncle) have any real bliss and happiness knowing that family (you) and friends and neighbors are being continuously burned and torture in hell?

If he says he doesn't care if you suffer, then point out that he's ranks up there with child rapists and murderers who obviously don't care (and if heaven is populated by these miscreants then heaven is evil...)

If he says he will forget about you, then say that then what's the point of having an Earthy life if all you do is forget who/what you are and further it sounds like heaven is reserved for heroin users and dope addicts... (and if heaven is populated by these miscreants then heaven is evil...)

I'm sure one can come up with more lovely examples then what I provided... but maybe it'll have him rethink what a "wonderful" reward he thinks he getting (instead of the reality of being worm food and nothing). If you're being really mean, you can point out at least in Islam, you're going to get sex with 42 virgins all the time instead of being "reborn" into sexless bodies continually genuflecting to God/Jesus 24/7 forever without having a potty break...

- Fastthumbs

Rachelle said...

Hump said:

"Since they lack reason, they assume everyone does. Thus they figure only some pain in your life could possibly have put you off being a mindslave to myth like them."

LOL! So true. LOL!

Longhorn...I'm sorry to hear that too. My experience with my religious sister was the opposite of yours. When she became a Jehovah's Witness, she DID try to convert me (they are told to start with family first before bothering people from door to door, LOL!)...but when she realized that that was never going to happen, she stopped trying and just accepted me as her sister. That was at least 20 years ago, and to this day, we still have our spirited debates about religion (as well as current events)...but we also get together for walks, lunches, films, memories, laughter, etc..This is how I know she isn't completely brainwashed. LOL!

People are people...and they can be pleasant or douche-bags no matter what they believe or don't believe.

DALwrites said...

I can't understand why Christians are so up in arms regarding the whole EEBP startup. Hump is basically saying, "Look, I'm not a believer, so based on your religious text, I will remain here after you've been beamed up to Sky Daddy's palace. Again, also based on your religious text, your pets won't go with you. I'll be here, I have some free space, so I'll watch after them when you've been turned into ether."
What's the problem here? Why get so mad about something which is a central tenet of the Christian religion? I think they're angry because their bluff's been called. Deep down, they know this is all a bunch of hogwash, and they're using Hump as their whipping boy. Also, it's an offer that can't be wiggled free of. Either let your pets die, or let Hump watch them.
Bravo Hump. Fantastic idea.

longhorn believer said...

@Anonymous - what you have said about heaven and hell makes perfect sense to me! However, my uncle and his family are too indoctrinated and defensive about their beliefs to listen to reasonable arguments. My uncle has been preaching his whole life and he simply does not welcome differing opinions. He obviously took personal offense when I told him I would never be coming back to church. For him, even attending church from another denomination would not be good enough. It's his way or the highway! So I see no need to argue with him. I was just asking him to quit prosletyzing, and I think I have accomplished that goal

@Rachelle - I am not even that close to my uncle, but his response hurt more than I would have expected. I can't imagine what it must be like to be rejected by a close family member, so I'm glad you still get along with your sister. I feel sorry for my mother who is being judged and condemned by her own brother - someone she has respected

Thanks to everyone for your comments. It helps to have a place to vent my frustrations!

Dromedary Hump said...

Dal wrote:
"I think they're angry because their bluff's been called. Deep down, they know this is all a bunch of hogwash,.."

It could well be part of it. But it also could be that they have no confidencein the morality / ethics of non-beleivers. Then again, many say that their minds will be washed clean by God to save them the pain of remebering life on earth, so they won't have to worry about their pets.

That last one is about as sick and weird a concept as anyone could imagine, seeing as right here and right now they COULD do something to prevent Fido's slow death from thirst and starvation.

But hey, their brains have been wiped clean for so long I'm not sure even they know why my offer gets some of them so nuts.