Saturday, July 12, 2008

You Don't Have to be a Mindless Scumbag to be Recognized as Top Clergy in the USA. But it Helps.

It’s almost as though being a mindless blithering dirtbag is a prerequisite to enter the upper echelons of Clergy in this country.

The latest idiocy uttered by the “Reverend” Jesse “Mumbles” Jackson, defaming Obama, and causing Jesse’s own Congressman son to dismiss him as a veritable jerk wad, isn’t Mumbles’ first gaff. Years ago he showed his true colors referring to New York City as “Hymie town”, among other anti-Semitic slurs. The fact that this sanctimonious buffoon also fathered children via a mistress, and had some questionable financial transactions involving his “Rainbow Coalition” boondoggle all pretty much point to an inarticulate loose cannon with little class, few scruples, and even less intellect. But this kind of behavior isn’t unique to Jesse. It’s epidemic among men of the cloth in the public eye.

Let’s put aside the obvious charlatans, the snake oil salesmen who's tent revivals and fake healings are geared to mentally impaired sucker believers. As far as I am concerned, these are entrepreneurs who see a business opportunity and maximize its potential by separating the most superstitious and gullible Christians from their welfare checks. They prove the old maxim that “a fool and his money are soon parted”. It’s free market capitalism.

And I won’t dredge up the hundreds and hundreds of priests, pastors, youth ministers, deacons, and assorted church officials, who, cloaked in godliness, use their position of authority and trust to rape and molest children. That’s a whole different level of sub-human theists.

No, I’m talking about the theist “leaders”, political shamans, the master shearers of the sheep who have risen to the top of the steaming pile of theist misanthropes. Those who declare God’s political preferences, and who rely on guile, bad theology, and a bombastic presence to transfix their followers, while sacrificing intellect, integrity, humility, honesty, dignity, and humanity. These are the darlings of the masses of bleating theist sheep, and a media circus unto themselves. They are the antithesis of the Jesus they claim to worship and represent.

The list reads like a rogue’s gallery of low life, in bred hypocrites and 13th century Inquisitors. Here, along with Jesse, is my Top Ten List of Clergy Scumbags:

“Reverend” Al Sharpton: He of the “Jewish interloper” comment, the Tawana Brawley fake race incident, the trumped up accusations of racism against anyone who opposes his demagoguery, and instigation of countless inflammatory and unnecessary confrontations. A rabble rousing publicity hound who’s IQ is exceeded by his waist size and the number of ounces of grease he slathers into his hair..

“Reverend” Jeremiah Wright: Obama’s ex-Pastor, anti-white racist, irrational conspiracy theorist, anti-American, self promoting raging nut case and beloved minister of the hallelujah crowd.

“Reverend” Jerry Falwell: Rabid homophobe; promoter of the concept that AIDS is God’s punishment on society for tolerating homosexuality; the guy who blamed 911 on America’s Sodom and Gomorrah ways. Happily he’s dead now, albeit, not soon enough nor painful enough for my liking.

“Reverend” Pat Robertson: Where to start? … How about this quote?: “The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” There are 100’s more of Pat’s quotes, many even worse. A true man of peace, Pat has called openly for the assassination of foreign leaders. A homophobe par excellence, he blamed hurricane Katrina’s devastation of New Orleans’ on the city’s evil ways, the wrath of God.. He’ll also sell you his God given recipe for an enery drink that will give you the strength of Samson. Perhaps the most unstable of the lot, Robertson is dangerous, and a living shit bag.

“Reverend” Jimmy Swaggart: Pentecostal TV hypocrite who was influential in exposing TV competitor Jim Bakker’s sexual indiscretions …two years later he himself was caught with a hooker…TWICE. His brilliant thought processes are marked by comments like this: "Sex education classes in our public schools are promoting incest."

“Reverend” Jim Bakker: Another defrocked TV minister, sex addict, and embezzler of his own evangelical church funds and “love offerings” of his zombie flock. Having done hard time in prison, he is still broadcasting TV shows to his God fearing and unshakable followers; while he tries to pay down the $6 million he owes the IRS.

“Reverend” Ted Haggard: Raging anti-homosexual and disgraced Evangelical leader, he was caught buying crystal meth and boffing a male prostitute. After entering “homo rehab” for two weeks he claimed to have been “cured” of his “illness”. The Evangelical leadership didn’t buy it. Many of his least intelligent Xtian sheep do.

“Reverend" Billy Graham:
This fire and brimstone tent preacher rose to prominence as Minister to Presidents. Presenting himself as the paragon of tolerance and inclusion, he was accused of anti-Semitic statements made in conversation with President Nixon. He vehemently denied it as a total fabrication. Unfortunately for him it was all on Oval Office audio tape, which was released to the media. Busted as a Jew hater and liar, he prefers to continue to deny any memory of the conversation.

“Reverend” John Hagee: Endorsed McCain for President, who happily accepted this Evangelical big wig’s support, until he found out Hagee refers to the Catholic Church as “The Great Whore”, and to the Holocaust as a “good thing” for the Jewish people. Ooops!!!

The list goes on. Now, I’m not suggesting all clergy are like this. Many, perhaps even most of them, are fine people who do some good, in spite of their religious illness. But the facts are plain: The higher a Man of the Cloth rises in the public arena, the more likely he is to be exposed for the fraud and hateful hypocrite he is. If being a moron, hypocrite or scumbag is not a prerequisite, it’s certainly an acquired trait among God’s self appointed agents.


trog69 said...

Hey, why can't we just round up all these 'leaders', and ship their asses to Baghdad? Don't the troops need them on the front lines?

As bait!

DromedaryHump said...

Unfortunately, while these guys fully support the insane war in Iraq, and would love to see the US or Israel bomb Iran, spreading the devestation in the region even further, none of them are likely to volunteer their asses to actually go there and fight.

When it comes to guts and glory...they desire glory, and prefer the guts be spilled by others.

trog69 said...

Between Atheists vs Christianity, where I usually hang out, and Fark, I love to rile up the chickenhawks. One excuse I heard was, "You don't have to be an actor to watch a movie". WTF? They think that because they've seen some gory pics from another jerkoff that shows some sweet Iraqi carnage, that they now know what it's like to be in combat. As usual, they can't empathize with the actual deaths and maiming on both sides, they just figger that if we pull out now, the US will have 2 defeats on the record. Not that they plan to help the effort, other than to cheerlead.

As to the Falwells and Hagees going to Iraq; I wonder why they don't go there to give "moral support" to the troops? Probably stayin' here to give the wives a shoulder to cry on.

OJ said...

Good list. I'd put "Doctor" Kent Hovind as number eleven on there. I'm so glad that "Doctor Dino" is in prison and that his Dinosaur Adventure Land park went the way of the real dinosaurs.

DromedaryHump said...

Yes, ole Kent is a good candidate for the list. So is Joel Osteen, the poster boy for "prosperity theology", albeit, he hasn't been caught violating any of his followers....yet.


trog69 said...

I imagine it might be because Joel's still purty. Once he gets on in years, desperate measures, and mebbe less adoration by the other participant, makes it easier to get caught.

Then again, he's probably clean as a whistle, and lives as he preaches. When the dough is rolling in like that, I'll bet it makes it real easy to believe.

DromedaryHump said...

Yep..its just a matter of time.

Eventually he will be caught diddling some guy, or child, or goat; evading taxes; or uttering some wildly anti-semitic or racist insults, etc.

Afterall, it seems to be the Christian thing to do.