Friday, July 3, 2009

God Fearing Christian Politicians Bite the Dust


By the time you read this you’ll know that Sarah Palin, Gov. of Alaska, McCain’s running mate by the Religious Right’s decree; empty headed fundie; darling of the unthinking religious whack jobs and Rush Limbaugh fanatics; and the woman who, last fall, one of my GOP deluded relatives proclaimed was "the best of all the Presidential candidates" ... has announced her resignation.

Palin says she “prayed” before making her sudden and totally out of the blue decision. Evidently God responded by telling her what we already knew -- she is an utter loser and unworthy to do anything more than go hunting, and play soccer mom and grandma to her “abstinence only” unwed daughter’s baby.

I’m waiting for her real reason to become public. Oh… it will be spun everyway from Sunday, but my considered guess is some really embarrassing story, or financial motive, is lurking just under the surface of her decision. Running for President in 2012? LOL! I doubt there are enough Republican’s who are so brain damaged to want to pit this numb scull against Obama. Bye, Bye, Sarah…don’t shoot yourself in the ass on the way out… it could cause cranial hemorrhaging.

Then there is that OTHER “top GOP presidential hopeful” for 2012 -- Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina. This fine upstanding Christian family man with four kids; this champion of Republican “Family Values,” got caught boffing some Argentinean babe while he was allegedly “hiking the Appalachian Trail.” The ole “Appalachian trail” excuse is destined to be a euphemism that will forever be right up there with “getting a Lewinski.”

Now, to be fair, it’s really not Gov. Sanford’s fault. As any good Christians of far right Republican bent will tell you, it’s those damn liberal abortion laws, birth control instead of abstinence efforts, and homosexual marriages that have weakened the nuclear family, and eroded “family values,” whatever the hell they are. Yep. Everything woulda been fine if those damn homos hadn’t been meddling in the sanctity of Gov. Sanford’s marriage. Bye, Bye, Mark ... don’t trip over your “Hiking Stick” (aka “Lewinski Pop”) on the way out.

Well, that narrows the field a bit. That leaves Hindu turned Born Again Christian Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana as the GOP’s best hope in 2012. You remember Bobby, the “young up and comer and New Face of the Republican Party.”

But you may remember Bobby best for the exorcism he conducted on his fiancĂ©e. It seems she was possessed by a demon or two, and ole Bobby, with his new found monotheistic fervor, was compelled to cast out that troublesome demon. Now there’s a guy you wanna see in the Oval office with his hand on the nuclear football. Sorry, Bobby… I don’t think so.

To be sure there are a bevy of Creationist / Intel Design, 6,000 year old Earth suborning Christian imbeciles who could be tapped to run against Obama in 2012. I’m rooting for it to be Mike Huckabee. My logic is simple: after losing to a sitting President by a land slide in 2012, and already having been tossed aside in 2008, it will mark Mike Huckabee’s last hurrah forever. Hey Mike, dust off your resume. I hear the First Church of the Baaing Sheep is looking for a preacher.

Bye, Bye bible thumping, hypocritical, supernaturally infected, reality denying Christian GOP presidential hopefuls. Don’t let a talking snake sneak up yer ass on the way out.

12 comments:

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Hump,
Don’t we just love Sarah!! But just as you have so wisely pointed out, we still have a plentiful lot of “ME TOO” evangelical fundamentalist right wing nut jobs filling the ranks of my Republican Party. One just as crazy as the next one.

Palin said she arrived at her decision in part to protect her family, which has faced withering criticism and occasional mockery, (Bad David Letterman) and to escape ethics probes (Self inflected due to her and her husband’s own fanatical agenda viewpoints) that have drained her family's finances and hampered her ability to govern. (She was never that good of a Governor or Political Leader in the first place. The people of Alaska took this long to figure this out. The rest of us across the country recognized this fact as soon as she stepped up on the stage of the Republican Convention.)

A very good posting Hump!

Tracey said...

I've been saying for a while now that we can't miss Sarahcuda if she won't go away. I won't miss her when she does go away, but I still just want her to go away. You mentioned Huckabee - he scares me a bit. He's an absolute douchebag, but one thing he learned from years of preaching is how to manipulate a crowd of sheep like a well trained border collie. Thus far, there have been no rumors of him cheating on that man he's married to, which could put him in the front spot for Gawd's Own Party. Yak!

Dromedary Hump said...

Thanks Eng.
That the people of Alaska elected her in the first place is very likely due to the fact that men out number women by an unusually high margin up there, if I recall. And its virtually always been a Red State.

Those horn dogs would vote for a comma patient, if she had nice T&A.

Tracey, I wouldnt worry to greatly. Unless Obama really screws up. The religious whackos have control of the party, but they represent only anout 25% of the country, and getting smaller each year. In 3 1/2 yrs there will be even fewer people calling themselves Christian.

Hey..maybe the Repubs will come around, get serious, and actually field a thinking non-fundie, nonanti-intellectual candidate for a change.

Crazier things have happened.

Hump

stuart said...

Wow! I just read the greatest atheist manifesto ever written. Seriously. It's called the Real Messiah:

http://www.amazon.com/Real-Messiah-Throne-Origins-Christianity/dp/1906787123/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246864135&sr=8-1

It's written by a Jewish writer who found proof in a number of ancient sources that Jesus never claimed to be the messiah. It was all made up by later Christians in Rome to distract from the truth that threatened to overtake the whole Empire.

You see there was this Jewish king named Marcus Julius Agrippa. He was the St. Mark who wrote the gospel. He wrote the gospel secretly to have Jesus announce HIM as the messiah. Then the Roman authorities caught wind of what was going on and then cut Agrippa out of the gospel.

Don't you see!!! It's all a big lie - even the biggest lie in history. Jesus never claimed to be what all these people now say he was. They have been fooled by a second century editorial effort that still goes undetected.

How is Huller so sure of this conspiracy? He found an ancient throne in Venice which Italian sailors stole from the most ancient Church of St. Mark in Alexandria in the ninth century. The author proves that the throne goes back much further than that - i.e. all the way to the beginning of Christianity in Egypt.

In any event the throne has Hebrew letters and symbols which prove the real story of Christianity and how the modern Church is one big fake.

The throne is real. Here are pictures of the throne:

http://www.therealmessiahbook.blogspot.com
You can look it up with Google. It's a real object. But now the game is up. Christianity is proved to be a big lie and the world will never be the same again.

It's so great to be on the winning side at last! I've got to tell everyone.

All I got to say is that you got to read this book. This is the straw that breaks the back of the Church.

Anonymous said...

I doubt there are enough Republican’s who are so brain damaged to want to pit this numb scull against Obama.
- - - - - - -
Obama is a dope and he is out there proving it daily...meanwhile you prove you're a dope by mispelling numb skull. Ah ha ha ha!!!!!!!
Sarah can run an entire state and a family of 6. You run a blog...now sit down and start taking notes.

ShitStirrer said...

Yo, nice pic! She looks like a good fuck.

Dromedary Hump said...

Anon,

Thanks for that thoughtful and inspiring mindless gibberish.

She ran that state so well, she bailed out mid term. Ran her family so well her much touted abstinence only concept resulted in her daughter getting knocked up.
But hey, she has all that foreign diplomacy experience because she's so close to Russia. You mindless right wing fundie GOP'ers must give that much credence.

OH.. ANON BTW: You said in your post above "mispelling"
Actually it's "misspelling". That’s TWO "s's" !

How typically Republican and theist of you... LOL!!!!
What a bufffoon!

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Hump,
As an active member of the Republican Party in the 1st district of Maryland, “Anonymous” is the exact type that I am so active in trying to purge from my Party and to return it back to the likes of Teddy Roosevelt’s and Nelson Rockefeller’s moderate viewpoints.

Dromedary Hump said...

Eng.,
I wish you luck.

Until NH Repub party erases from their platform prologue:
"We are united in our belief in God." They will NEVER see me again.

and thats the least of what they'll have to do to win me back.

yes. Anon above represents the intellectual highpoint of those who embrace the party now. Thus, I fear it will never recover.

Joyce said...

Uh ... Anon? Drom, what do you think? Could Anon possibly be our friend Mark? He knows that my blog has my comments moderated (not for disagreements, but for yahoos who do nothing but spend their nights going through their bookmarked websites, just waiting for a blog posting to show up while they think of a witty response.) Ever notice that, like internet chat rooms, they are the only ones to 'ah ha ha ha' or 'lol' themselves? No one else finds them witty. More like witless.

And as far as Sarah 'running' a state and a family?

She's pretty good at running her reputation into the ground.

She's also stellar at running her mouth.

Please. Don't take my word for it. See what Wiki has to say about her. Pardon me, how many colleges (and community colleges) did she attend and not complete before getting her degree?

Oh, yes, she certainly can run ... away.

My apologies, Anon, for asking you to count. You said she ran a family of six? Hmm. Let's see. She has five children. There is her and her husband. 5 + 2 = 6? Of course, you may have only been referring to her raising her children. So ... 5 + 0 = 6?

Is this the new math? What did I miss?

Joyce said...

My apologies, Anon. I should have realized that you probably don't have Wiki bookmarked because you can't make silly comments to them. Here. Please. Let me help. Here's the link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Palin

I even hyperlinked it for you to make it nice and easy. :)

(Oh my gosh! My word verification for this is 'lipsymen'. I kid you not! Too funny!)

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