Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Form over Function & Promotion over Devotion: The Tebow Buffoonery

“Oh look! Little Timmy is praying again. He has assumed the position. He is so devout!”

“Tim threw for three hundred and sixteen yards against the Steelers - 316 - as in John 3:16, it’s a miracle, it’s God speaking though him!”

Tweets fill the airways exhorting Tim Tebow’s divinely driven drives. Pundits hail him as the missing link of the Trinity (the “Quad-rinity?”). Surely he is in Gawd’s good graces, for how else could a mediocre quarterback with an 8-8 record find himself in the play offs, facing the 13- 3 Patriots (other than due to the remarkably contrived NFL method of selecting play off finalists based entirely on maximizing the league’s post regular season financial revenues)?

I don’t care much about football. I’ll watch a few games a year and the Super Bowl, but otherwise who wins a sporting event is largely unimportant to me. What I do care about is having mindless, raging, ranting, religious idiocy thrust upon me on the radio, TV, internet, and newspapers every weekend, and through the week, day and night for the entire football season. The coup de gras was this display of mass "Tebowing" by the insipid CBS sports casters after the game. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/08/tim-tebow-cbs-crew-tebowing-broncos-steelers_n_1192995.html

I’m disgusted. Oh, not just the kneeling head on hand pose hype and its millions of imitators who by now should be considered as cool as a high five, although that’s annoying enough. It’s not just the speculation by talking heads and religious fanatics about how god favor’s the Bronco’s, and how it is guiding Tebow’s plays and destiny. Nope. I’m used to religious hysteria and fads adopted by the mentally deficient.

What really gets my goat is that no one seems to speak out on the one thing that should be obvious to any student of the bible, and certainly could not be lost on the Xtian clergy. It remains unspoken by the sports talking heads because they are ignorant, or afraid to brooch it. And the clergy won’t address it because they indirectly are beneficiaries of the whole silly fiasco.

What I’m talking about is this- Matthew 6:5-6, Jebus’ own words:
"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

Tebow is the quintessential example of precisely the hypocrisy Jebus spoke of. Hell, how less private can you be than taking every opportunity to pray before millions of people to demonstrate your devout holiness? Tebow puts the hip in hypocrisy.

So, where are the admonishments against this obvious ignoring of their man-god’s directive? Where is the outrage from the bible banging fundies or from the clergy who should be chastising him for what is tantamount to un-Christian behavior and denial of the savior’s word? I’ll tell you where it is.

For the bible banging Christian fanatics it’s lost among the other things they cherry pick to accept or ignore. You know, like how they ignore the admonishments of Jebus to observe the 613 laws of the Hebrew Bible until his second coming and “all is accomplished”. They prefer Paul’s edict that those laws are no longer necessary... it’s easier. It’s ignored like they ignore the kosher laws Jebus said should be kept while they happily eat pig and shrimp; yet feverently cling hard and fast to the homophobic laws of the Old Testament. No surprise there, it's institutionalized Xtian hypocrisy.

Tebow is seen by his flock as a general in the army of this nation’s Xtian soldiers. The defender of the 76% Xtian population leading the good fight against the minority 12% - 16% godless heathens who have been “persecuting” them aided by "Obama's war on religion” Rick Perry touts.

As for the Clergy - they know the public prayer thing is not right. But much like the Islamic clerics who remain silent in the face of fanatic Islamic terrorist actions, the pastors and preachers see no benefit in standing up for scripture and against popular appeal. Afterall, what’s in it for them? Fact is, they love the advertising, the promotion of Xtianity that Tebow’s hypocrisy generates. It’s their business and they aren’t paying a dime for the national exposure. They are the Pharisees who epitomize hypocrisy by turning a blind eye to this trespass, while professing their love and respect for scripture... “God’s own word.” They will remain silent and laugh up their sleeves.

Tebow will go on with his pious showmanship born of his parents having steeped his brain in religious foolishness, that’s for sure. But how much longer will we have to endure the mimicry of his mindless followers; his being hailed as Jebus’ representative in the NFL; the invoking of the divine for every pass completion or first down by sports pundits; and his elevation to demigod by religionists whose entire familiarity with scripture is limited to whatever chapter and verse gets painted onto Tebow’s eye black?

That answer will be determined primarily by whether or not the Bronco’s get into and win the Super Bowl, and secondarily by whether my prayers to Moloch to have both his ACLs severed works out.


tiNstAg said...

Personally I cannot understand how anyone can watch a staccato game of "football" which seems to have been designed purely around the ability to slip in advertisements so that a 60 minute activity can extend for gourd knows how long they want it to. However, that aside, I am sure many are waiting for him to get a good sacking just so that we can hear the xtian sheeple bleat that he has lost Gourd's favor. Oh, but they won't will they. Like all "miracles" they only apply to the bits the xtians want to see.

gerard26 said...

Thanks Hump, great post! Happy New Year to you and Mrs. Hump.

Anonymous said...

I would give my left nut (not really), if it came out that Tebow gets off on smelling young boys jock straps.
Charlie (aka Far Left)

Anonymous said...

With every completed pass from the divine intercession of Jesus, hundreds of starving children in Africa die from starvation.

Let's go Broncos!

Let's go Jesus!


David said...

I must say that I am not subjected to the mindless religious idiocy in the media that you speak of. Us Australians don't really care much about American football and I don't even think it gets a showing on the TV here. If it wasn't for the fact that I stumbled across some news stories about his stupid Focus on the Family ads I probably would have had no idea who you were talking about. I found that this guy and his comments aroused a particular level of anger in me that I would say was unusual for me. I am not normally a particularly emotional person. Apparently, because his mother chose to ignore advise that her pregnancy with him posed a serious risk to her life and the best course of action to ensure her survival was to abort the pregnancy, women who are experiencing life threatening pregnancy complications should be denied the choice of an abortion. His mother had a choice. Whether she made a choice that was noble or one that was foolish but just got lucky could be a topic of extended debate. But to enforce by law that women should be denied the option of a medical procedure that is likely to save their life is just disgusting. If granting women that choice could have meant that he never existed then so be it. The rights of the mother outweigh the rights of an unborn fetus.

Anonymous said...

Based on Matthew 6:5-6, all "true" christians should bring back a good old-fashioned stoning for Tebow for publicly and repeatedly defying Jesus' own commands.

Also, as far as Obama's "war on religion"...all I can say is "I wish".

David said...

OK, I've been Googling this Tim Tebow douche and now I get what all the fuss is about. I think over here one of our athletes carrying on like him would last about a day and a half. Just like an MP who were to carry on like Rick Perry would never secure more than the 10% hard core Christian vote. To most of us overt displays of public religiosity are a bit if a turn off, especially when you just want to watch the game.

Chatpilot said...

I am not nor have ever been a football fan. I don't care about the Superbowl etc. But this Tebow thing is not just happening in football. I am a huge fan of Ultimate Fighting Championship aka UFC. I am a martial artist myself and have practiced since I was 11 years old.

It seems that some of the biggest stars in this sport credit their ability to beat the shit out of their fellowman for the sake of entertainment as a sign of God's approval of them. Some wear tattoos of biblical verses on their bodies and when doing post fight interviews make stupid religious claims of devotion and thanks to God for their victories.

In my opinion this sort of behavior is unflattering and makes them look dumber than hell. A lot of boxers do the same thing it's quite annoying.

It is also against their religion since the bible states:16 Do you not realise that you are a temple of God with the Spirit of God living in you?

17 If anybody should destroy the temple of God, God will destroy that person, because God's temple is holy; and you are that temple. 1 Corinthians 3:16,17 (NJB)

The body according to this text and others like it are the temple of the Holy Spirit. This is an admonishment to take care of your body and another text states that you should glorify God with both body and soul. I don't see how you are glorifying God as you kick or punch someone in their face to win a pro fight or title for entertainment. I guess it's all about interpretation.

Christian hypocrisy and cherry picking makes me sick to my stomach. They are so judgmental of anyone who does not believe in their religions even though there are commands against that as well.