Thursday, January 5, 2012

Teaching the religious their own religion: The thinking man’s burden

Religionists are a never ending source of amazement to me. From the least educated quasi-literate backwoods bible banger, to those who represent themselves as scripturally fluent and defenders of the faith, the degree to which they have avoided knowledge of the history of religion is remarkable. I’m not talking about other religions; I’m speaking of knowledge of their very own religion’s history and the variety of tenets it has spawned.

I imagine it comes from a profound desire to avoid education, a comfort within the narrowness of their chosen sect, or self imposed avoidance of any education that doesn’t come from their clergy, like minded sectarian authors or favored apologetics sites. Perhaps they have embraced the old saw: “Too much knowledge is a dangerous thing.” If so, they are definitely not in any danger.

A wonderful example of this recently came to my attention. A Christian, apparently irked by my amazon review of the NIV Bible, blessed me with this tiding:
“You and a lot of others who are against the words of God will burn in hell. I'll be on the other side laughing, while you cry in pain.”
– B. Bain

Nothing new there. It's all good. I’ve been threatened with, assured of, promised, and condemned to hell so many times by Xtian nutters that if there were such a place I’d probably get my room comped. I thanked him for proving my point, that the Bible’s hideous fables and obscenities has had its desired affect on him, since it is a trait of Abrahamic religions, most specifically Xtianity, to endorse torture and pain either real or imagined on those who eschew their philosophy.

And that would have ended that until one of the faithful, an early and vehement objector to my review and laughably vapid theist, provoked the subject of this blog article with this gem:

“You see how Bart always assumes everyone he doesn't like is a Christian? No bias or presupposition there huh? LOL” - Ob-Servant

“Assume” he is Christian? My retort was an assumption based on a “bias or presupposition?” Hmmm. Could it be that this befuddled dead Jew worshipper, so desperate to sling an invective at me simply has no understanding of the Xtian doctrine that speaks of those in heaven being treated to ring side seats of the eternal torture of the damned burning in hell? I mean, is it possible this could have escaped the purview of a self proclaimed observant Xtian and bible-phile? So it seems.

So I undertook to educate him citing Thomas Aquinas: "That the saints may enjoy their beatitude more thoroughly, and give more abundant thanks for it to God, a perfect sight of the punishment of the damned is granted them."

Citing Jeremy Taylor a 17th century Bishop of England: "Husbands shall see their wives, parents shall see their children tormented before their eyes...the bodies of the damned shall be crowded together in hell like grapes in a wine-press, which press on another till they burst..."

Citing Jonathan Edwards, referred to as “The American Augustine”: “Every time they look upon the damned, it will excite in them a lively and admiringsense of the grace of God...The view of the misery of the damned will double the ardor of the love and gratitude of the saints in heaven."

I could have gone on, as this interpretation of multiple bible passages is endorsed by many Catholics and Protestant sects. Thus, my reference to the hell wisher as being a Christian was anything but an assumption, bias, or presupposition since this belief is unique to Christianity. [Note: Islam may have similar doctrine but it’s doubtful a Muslim would be pissed about my review of the Bible. Koran, sure - Bible, no.)

Evidently this is something my antagonist never quite got around to learning. As a result his knee jerk accusation and obvious desire to paint me as a blind persecutor of his unfairly put upon martyred religion exposed him as both ignorant of his own religion, and a douchebag of epic proportions.

As I type this there is as yet no reply. I wholly expect it to be a half baked tap dance such as “That’s not what I meant, I knew that all along.”, or You misinterpreted my statement”, or the ever popular “You took my comment out of context,” because intellectual honesty amongst these folks is as rare as a MENSA member at an exorcism.

But, it makes no difference. I did my duty as a thinking person, imparting knowledge to the religiously afflicted about their religion. At least now he too will be able to titter in excited anticipation of watching Anne Frank buring in hell once he reaches his reward.

It’s the Xtian thing to do.


David said...

"Husbands shall see their wives, parents shall see their children tormented before their eyes..."

Witnessing a beloved son, daughter or spouse being tormented before your eyes is something that would cause extreme distress, but I thought heaven is a place that is entierly blissful. So is heaven a place where you suddenly become ignorant of the people you once loved and cared about in order not to be distressed by the knowledge that they are in hell? I don't think this idea would sit well with a lot of the Xtians I know.

Dromedary Hump said...

I imagine heaven is what you want to believe it to be.

If some xtians find watching the reasoned and non-xtian being tortured blissful, or as a heightening of their own heavenly experience, then that's what heaven is. I have seen a number of Xtians gleefully proffering that concept.

Xtians tell me that your earthly cares and connections disappear once you're in heaven. They use that to justify why they won't care what happens to their beloved pets when they are raptured... their thoughts will be only on god. Perhaps that holds true with witnessing your sinful/non-believing children and spouse being tormented for eternity

It's all the madness of religion think.

GatorApe said...

Nailed it again (as usual) Hump! This surely is one of the most perplexing things to me -- how little theists know about their own religion. I have a brother (a twin brother! (albeit fraternal)) that calls himself a Catholic. As you can imagine, we have had many a discussion about Religion (never ends well). I realized early on that I have forgotten more about Catholicism than he will ever know. But here is the most distressing part of all this: It's become obvious to me that he (and virtually every theist I have talked to) explicitly DON'T want to know any more about their religion. When I try to educate them, they effectively put their hands over their ears and yell "I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" The human brain really is an amazing thing.

Dromedary Hump said...

Gator, Thanks.

Yes, that is an interesting and not uncommon reaction. Perhaps too much detail about their religion's dogma may have a cumulative effect of sounding so crazy they're scared it'll threaten their faith if they hear it. Who knows?

Religionists are a peculiar lot.

Anonymous said...

"I'll be on the other side laughing"

(He meant the other side of hell.)

And, in regards to the pic you chose, I could really go for a nice lava tub right about now. It's god damn freezing here.

Susan said...

If that's the sort of thing they're looking forward to witnessing in the afterlife what sort of TV and films do they liking watching in life? In a previous life he probably spent a lot of time at the colosseum in Rome.

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Hump,
I had to laugh when I read your title of this posting. I was on a Conservative Blog site where a Fundamentalist Christian posts by the name of Common Sense, (which obviously in his case is not too common.)

He attacked Microdot with the statement, “What is this….A ROCK!….and according to your evolution theory after a million years it becomes a man.”

I posted a reply:
“Genesis 2:18-19: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. AND OUT OF THE GROUND the Lord God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof."

I then went onto say, "So you are saying that the Bible gives proof of Evolution as God created not only Adam, but every beast, fowl, etc. from the ground. Rocks are part of the ground right?”

The poor mindless bastard did not reply so I guess that was the end of his evidence that the Evolution Theory says that a rock, after a million years, will become a human.

Dromedary Hump said...

Nicely played.

Chatpilot said...

Hump, I am a former Pentecostal evangelist who after spewing the gospels of absurdity for four years finally came to his senses. When I left the church once and for all I was showered with all the threats of God's divine wrath that awaited me for turning my back on the faith.

It seems to me that Christians seem to relish the idea of seeing all those that oppose their beliefs suffering eternally in the afterlife. They seem to long for it and enjoy casting that curse at all dissenters wholesale.

I have been an atheist going on 18 years and my view of God now is that he is nothing but a celestial tyrant and bully. Even if he did exist, I would tell him to shove his so called gift of salvation up his all powerful ass before bowing down to a monster.

I have known people including myself, that have shown more compassion and love for their fellow man than this fictional God has ever done according to the scriptures.

Keep up the good work my friend, I will be looking forward to your future posts.

Dromedary Hump said...

Well said.
Kudos on your escape from the tyranny of religious indoctrination. Glad to have you among the thinking.
Thanks for the kind words of support.