Wednesday, January 11, 2012

I Love the Scent of a Burnt Offering in the Stadium

News flash: Associated Hump News Service, January 11, 2012:

Immediately following an 85 yard touchdown drive, quarterback Yahuda Ben Cohen takes a moment to send up a burn offering to Yahweh, and perform his patented "Ben Cohen Pose".

Outraged, the Christian fans began to chant "Kill the Christ killing Jew bastard, he's praying in public like the hypocrite Pharisees."

Ben Cohen was summarily stoned to death under a hail of beer cups, hot dogs, nachos, and pork rinds thrown by 105,000 enraged followers of the Prince of Peace.

CBS sports commentators roundly commend the crowd: "The hell bound heathen Jew had it coming. Everyone knows God doesn't hear the prayers of Jews. Besides, this is a football stadium, not some God damned synagogue!"

Film at eleven.


Shaw Kenawe said...

LOL! I'd love to steal that and put it up on my blog on Saturday because Tebow and Jesus are playing against the NE Patriots.

BTW, Matthew Dowd, a one-time GWBush speech writer, wrote a embarrassingly stupid piece of rubbish suggesting that Tebow should run for president.

Dromedary Hump said...

Shaw..feel free to repost it. ;)

Dowd is an imbecile.

Fantabulum said...

I don't know whether to love you or hate you, but you always force me to read your posts sober... May unlava guide you.

(P.S. My made up god was originally "sheebus" but my captcha was "unlava" which sounded more appropriate).

Engineer of Knowledge said...

Hello Hump,
Isn’t praying to thank god for allowing you to score a touch down showing disrespect i.e. “Excessive Celebration” because wouldn’t this say that god does not like (and will smite) the other team they are playing? How come the refs don’t throw a flag for this? I am sure god could give a “Rat’s Ass” that you scored a touch down playing a kid’s game.

Is it any less egregious than doing some hoochie dance in the end zone or using a cell phone planted in the padding of the goal post to call your mom to tell her you scored a touch down? To me it is all one in the same.

All of these people touting the 3:16, similarities as proof that god has some magic hand in Tebow….. and they let these people vote?

Dromedary Hump said...

i imagine that since 76% of the US population is Xtian, that the leagueintervening in his absurdprayer act wouldn't be good for revenue.

I'm praying to Moloch for a double ACL tear in the 2nd qtr.

Engineer of Knowledge said...

New England Patriots just spanked Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos 45-10.

Now will the Über Religious view this as god has decided his “Sin Of Pride” that he is chosen over other football players, has played for too long?

Dromedary Hump said...

"Oh God, why hath thou foresaken me?" - Brady 3:16

Dromedary Hump said...

correction: thatwould be

TEBOW 3:16

sheesh..long night.

David said...

Seems like the Tebowing phenomenon is starting to get a mention in the media here in Australia after all.

I quite liked this option piece: