Free Business Advice to the Incurably Religious: Inquire Within

The first few years after retiring, my old firm asked me to do consulting work in my specialty of direct to consumer operations until they had a comfort level with my successor.   Mostly I conferenced with company execs, and other consultants, offering my input and recommendations on fulfillment services for our national retail catalogs and internet websites. 

I was paid handsomely for my time ... triple digits per hour including travel time and phone time; plus all expenses paid. Great gig if you can get it.

Today I am offering a piece of consulting advice to the religiously afflicted - pro bono, gratis, complimentary, absolutely free.  If you’re a business person, an author of a secular themed book, an ebay merchant, a contestant on a talent show, or any endeavor where religion has zero to do with what you are selling, then  this info may well increase your potential, boost your earnings, or save your job.  Pay close attention...I’m only going to type this once.

The other day I was searching ebay for a new leather belt.  I thought I found exactly the one I was looking for:  1 ¼” width, nice basket weave stamping, subtle buckle, tasteful, and inexpensive.  I was about to do a “buy now” until I scrolled to the bottom to confirm the return privileges, and there it was:  a scene with three crucifixes against a stormy sky, dead dudes dangling from each.  Lovely. Thanks ... I’ll pass.

This morning I was watching the Today show with Mrs. Hump. A pair of Kennedys came on touting their new book. Dressed in black, the gold cross on one of them stood out so big it looked like a gold tablespoon sized coke spoon with wings.  Yeah....we get it, you’re Catholic. What, that dead guy hanging around your neck has an aversion to nestling quietly and discretely in your cleavage?  (Strangely, their devoutness and blatant flaunting of their religion never seems to be enough to keep Kennedys from crashing airplanes, skis, and cars with disastrous results for themselves and innocent people around them.)   Her talisman was so distracting, I don’t have the vaguest idea what the book was about. 

Finally, I went shopping for a new wristwatch today.  The young woman behind the showcase took out a tray of Swiss Army watches. As she placed them on the counter I noticed a tattoo on her wrist. It was about the size of four postage stamps - a full color rendering of a tortured looking face wearing a rather uncomfortable looking thorny crown dripping blood. The guy’s upturned eyes seemed to be screaming “For ME sake, get me off this idiot’s wrist!”  On her other wrist was a weeping woman in black with a cross behind her.  No corpse. 

I casually inquired: “I guess you’re pretty religious, huh?”
“Huh?  Oh!  Yeah!  I’ve had them for about two years. Do you like them?” she lifted her full color corpse tattoo closer to my face. 
“Frankly, no. In fact, as long as you’re asking I find them a little off putting.” I flatly replied as I inspected one of the watches. She was silent after that. There was one watch I liked, but not in love with.  I may have been convinced but I just wasn’t motivated at this point.   I ended up in another jewelers buying from a lovely woman; no corpses hanging from her neck or a visible tattoos of a mythical man-god emblazoned forever in living (or dead) color on her wrist.  $175, less 25%, good deal.

Which brings me back to the title of this essay:  Attention religionists! I don’t care what fable you embrace or god you worship.  I don’t have any interest in how devout you are, or how holy your bodily adornments make you feel.  If you aren’t working in the Vatican, or a Christian book shop your prospective clientele doesn’t necessarily share your enthusiasm for your delusion.

So, tuck in your execution devise jewelry, and cover your bleeding corpse tattoo because these days, north of the Mason Dixon Line at least, you’ve a better chance of alienating prospective customers or clients than you do sealing a deal because of the display. 

Here, let’s try this, because I sense your  Christian-centric mindset is causing a blockage:  if I worked in a shop and wore a sign around my neck or displayed a tattoo on my forehead that said “Jesus is a myth, kill it once and for all” you may feel a tad put upon and not want to do business with me either. In fact, it may even prompt you to complain to management, demand I cover up the imposition, or threaten never to patronize that business again.

I doubt your man-god will be offended. Besides it’s not like his tattooed likeness or gold corpse can’t magically see through your blouse sleeve or sweater top. Plus you’ll piss off fewer people, thus earn more sales, more commissions, maybe sell more books, even keep your job. Sounds like a win win for you AND your deity.  OK, that's my advice. Take it or leave it.   

Take the National Quiz of Shame

The past week has been rife with some interesting political developments. I’m not talking about the presidential election necessarily, but statements and proposals from politicians around the nation that should give thinking people pause.

Unfortunately, much as devout Christians will hang tight to their beliefs even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, so too will some otherwise thinking people turn a blind eye, or deny, or just dismiss as a one off the madness that spews from the mouths of religious fanatic politicians. 

So, I offer the following short quiz to my readers to prompt some introspection and aid some of their friends and relatives in assessing their own readiness to ride the band wagon of the  insanely religious.  Get ready, this won’t be pretty:

1.  Name the Gubernatorial candidate and his party, who has declared his support for  introducing Creationism into his state’s public schools if elected, and will refuse all federal aid for education for his state.

2.  Name the state representative & his party who in the past two years introduced a bill that would require Creationism be discussed in science classes; and who supported a religious test for public school science teachers to keep atheist teachers out of the class room.

3. Name the state representative candidate & his party who declared that rebellious children should be put to death, per the Old Testament directive.

4. Name the state rep and his party, who proclaimed that slavery was “a blessing” to black people. And from the same state, the representative who proclaimed slavery couldn’t have been so bad since Jesus and Paul never condemned it.

5. Name the Congressman and his party who sits on the Science Committee who announced that evolutionary theory is “a lie from the pit of hell.” He also declared manmade global warming a conspiracy by certain members of the scientific community.

6. Name the pro-life, family values congressman and medical doctor, and his party, who opposes abortion even to save the life of the mother, but who insisted his mistress have an abortion to “save his marriage.”.

7. Name the ex-president and his party who proclaimed atheists “... aren’t patriots and maybe not even be Americans.”

8. Name the state representative and his party that has called for the death of homosexuals.

9 Name the national candidate and his party who believes that god and his wives lives on the planet Kolob;  wears special underwear that protects him from evil;  will himself someday be a god of his own planet; and who believes almost half the nation’s citizens are un-motivated self declared victims entitled to free food and free everything.
10. What do each of these politicians have in common?


Answers:
1. Ovid Lamontagne  (R- New Hampshire) Catholic
2.Gary Hopper (R- Weare, New Hampshire) Protestant
3.Charles Fuqua (R – Arkansas) Baptist 

4 Jon Hubbard (R- Arkansas) Baptist; and Loy Mauch (R- Arkansas) Baptist
5 Paul Broun (R- Georgia) Southern Baptist
6 Scott DesJarlais (R- Tennessee) Episcopalian
7 George H.W. Bush ( R )  Episcopalian
8 Rep. Andy Gipson (R-Mississippi)  Christian
9 Willard “Mitt” Romney ( R ) Mormon
10. They are all Republicans and Christians, and represent only a very few of the many GOP politicians who share their perspectives.

 I’m sure you were able to answer a few of these correctly. Certainly you could have guessed the party affiliations.  But your score isn’t important. What’s important is your answer to the final two part question... and here it is:

11: A) How can any thinking person ignore these realities, which are just the tip of the madness iceberg, and cast their vote for the party that virtually exclusively  attracts this kind of madness, this degree of incivility, these expressions of hate, hypocrisy and religious fanaticism that is counter to everything America stands for...then goes so far as to fund those campaigns and candidates?
11: B) How can any person of reason and reality vote for a party that attracts like a magnet the support of the least educated, most religiously deluded, homo-phobics, misogynists, and racists - in the hopes that this party has a magic bullet that will lift this nation magically out of its financial doldrums?

Answer:
11:A&B-  Because some unholy blend of self interest, cognitive dissonance, denial, and racism is not exclusively the purview of ignorant religious fanatics.  And that’s the real national shame.   

My guess is you got that last one right   

An uninvited guest: Guess who came to dinner?

I hate having unannounced out of town guests.  I mean, it’s just rude.  Forget about the fact that I have to hustle and put on pants, what if I had something important planned...like, I dunno -  purging my dog’s anal gland?

Last night the driveway alarm sounded, the security lights came on, the automated Claymore mine system armed, and my spidey sense started to tingle, the latter only happening when religionists have breached the Camel Ranch compound perimeter.

Being the closest one to it, Mrs. Hump heaved me the Marlin 1898 12 gauge pump I keep loaded over the side door.  I racked one of the 00 buck shot shells into the chamber and waited. Seconds later there was a knock at the back door. 

“Who the hell is it?” I barked.  It’s my normal greeting to unexpected night intruders.
“Don’t you mean ‘Who the heaven is it?’ my son?” was the soft spoken reply in an accent reminiscent of a cross between Yassar Arafat and a Hassidic rabbi from Brooklyn.

Leveling my shotgun about waist high, I swung the door open.  There stood the scruffiest looking, bearded, snaggle toothed, slightly emaciated, schlub I’ve ever seen outside of a Walmart. 

“Hi I’m Jesus.”
“I don’t need my lawn mowed, I do it myself...besides it’s late. ”
“No, not THAT kind of Jesus the ORIGINAL one; you know, JESUS! Can I come in?”
“Lemme see some ID.”
       
He cautiously reached into his cheap crumpled Sears suit jacket and fumbled around for his wallet... eventually producing a New Hampshire driver’s license which he held up at arms length for me to read. 

I read it out loud :  “Jesus Christ, AKA Son of God, AKA Prince of Peace, AKA Jebus; AKA Jeezus H. Fuckin’ Christ;  DOB: approx. 4 BCE.; Current address: Men’s Shelter, Manchester, NH; Corrective lenses required, motorcycle certified.”

I compared the photo to the specter standing before me, looking back and forth between the two just to be sure.  Yup..it was him...or Him.  

“Ok, com’on in, but keep those hands where I can see them, don’t drip any blood on the floor, and let’s make this quick... The X-Factor comes on in ten minutes. ”   I noticed some nasty infected holes in his hands.  I assumed he had them in his feet too, but since he was wearing a pair of Nikes I wasn't concerned.  I showed him to the kitchen and had him sit down at the table.  If he was carrying fleas, the last thing I needed was an infestation in the living room carpeting.

“I guess you’re wondering what I’m doing here, I mean what with your being a freethinker, an anti-theist activist, and something of a hump to people who believe in me.”

I surmised that the stench of cheap sweet wine on his breath was Manischewitz Concord Grape, vintage of last Tuesday.  The crumbs of matzo in his beard did not exactly endorse the old “cleanliness is next to godliness” bromide. 

“Yeah, you might say that.  Get on with it, Captain Obvious.”
“Well, I’m here to apologize for all the crap my followers did over the centuries and still do.  All the problems they caused and still cause.”
“Uh huh..go on”  
“And the fact that they eschew education, deny scientific reality, make up fake history, treat women like chattel, are so damn gullible, support Romney who’s a real douche, and despise homosexuals.  You know I’m a little light in the sandals my self.”  That last phrase was accompanied by an embarrassed smile that made me a little uncomfortable.

“Ok, fine.  So what are you going to do about it?  When are you going to divulge to your sheeple that  you and those other two guys You also call You,  are Paul's total fabrication at worst; or a composite figure drawn from pagan gods, Cynic preachers, and 1^st century Jewish nationalist professors of  independence from Rome at best? ”

“Oh ... I couldn't do that.  Much like Tinkerbell from Peter Pan (one of my personal favorite god-like myths, by the way), unless people believe in me I would totally disappear. It would be tantamount to suicide for me to out myself. And according to my myth, I already did the suicide thing once.  If I did it again it would look, well... like a cry for attention.”

“AND SO....?” I was growing impatient. I already missed the first five minutes of X-Factor. “You’re here to apologize and that’s it?  You came all the way from Manchester ... on foot evidently ... just for that?!”

“No No... I came to thank you for what you’re doing.  I mean just look at me!  You see any halo?  No!  Any beams of light emanating from my being?  No!  I had to fricken walk here, don’t even have my Mercedes C class anymore...repossessed.  Hey, this is a $40 suit, ‘buy one, get the shirt and tie free.’  No more Brooks Brothers, no more Barney’s NY, no more hand sewn Italian shoes.  I came to tell you to keep up the good work. Your exposing me as a myth and invention is having its effect, and it’s long over due. Won't belong before my whole crappy story is laid to rest. Me along with it.”

I was struck by two emotions:  the first was an inclination to lower the shotgun, as this guy was obviously no longer a threat.  The other was one of enormous pride.

“Hey, thanks, I appreciate that!  I mean, I knew I was making a difference, but I didn’t realize I was ALL THAT, ya know? I mean, that I was single-handedly responsible for your gradual demise and ultimate consignment to the shit can of dead man-gods and fables.”

“Uh ... oh.  Yeah.  Well, truth be told,   I’m making the rounds to all thinking people with the drive and will to speak out. You’re like number 835,701. Hey, you wouldn't happen to have a spare ham sandwich would ya?”

Bastard!  

Voting for “Judeo-Christian values” – A Freethinker’s worst nightmare

In an effort to down play the perception of Mormonism as a cult and non-Christian society of blaspheming scum among Evangelicals, Romney has avoided use of the term Mormon this election cycle and  now has taken up the tact of  appealing to the Religious Right with the more generic “shared Judeo-Christian values.”  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/29/romney-evangelicals-judeo-christian-values_n_1924587.html?utm_hp_ref=religion

Ah!!  Judeo-Christian values!  Well, that’s more like it.

Let's see: the Old Testament, the Jewish bible - the Tanakh - values genocide (except for the female virgins) for tribes who are non-believers in the god of Abraham; demands the cutting off of a woman's hand for grabbing the genitals of her husband's attacker; requires the killing of one's unruly children; endorses stoning homosexuals to death; and absolutely expects killing people for working on the Sabbath (that would be Saturday, not Sunday, by the way). 

On the other hand, "traditional" Christian values include the murder of indigenous peoples and the utter eradication of their culture to spread "the Word" and save them from themselves; torturous Inquisition against heretics; Holy wars; witch burning; intra-sect wars; 1700 years of anti-Semitism; stealing donkeys; causing the mass killing of pigs and destruction of fig trees; and turning father against son and mother against daughter. 

More recently, their values have expanded to include willful violation of the Constitution and Supreme Court rulings by promoting prayer in school and installing Judeo-Christian symbols on government property; persecuting American born children of illegal immigrants; denying scientific fact like global warming and evolutionary theory; opposing advancement in medical research; and promoting anger in the Middle East by broadcasting Xtian proselytizing satellite TV insulting Muslims on their own soil. http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-satellite-20120928,0,6912233.story

Yes - I can see how shared Judeo-Christian values would make Romney attractive to the extreme religious right; evangelicals; homophobes; Christian nationalists; anti-feminists; those who endorse torture and public school corporal punishment; promoters of the  imposition of Xtian beliefs; hawks for more war in the Middle East; and those bent on tearing down the Wall of Separation. 

Yes, professing Judeo-Christian values was a shrewd move by Willard. It should turn out the vote rather nicely in the Bible Belt, and among Creationists, Survivalists, Skin-heads, the KKK, the Minute Men, and those who see a Christian Taliban controlled Christian Nation in our future. 

Yes, a vote for Romney is a vote for Judeo-Christian values.  I’m glad he cleared that up.    

And now a political message from our sponsor: Reason.

 Election day is only a few weeks away.  I imagine some of you may be considering voting for a change.  After all, with all the opportunities we've had contending with the “greatest economic down turn since the Great Depression” over the past 80 years, you’d think we’d have had everything all fixed by now.

When you go to the polls and prepare to vote I don’t want you to be concerned with incidentals – those little things that might dissuade you from voting for Mitt.

Don’t worry about women’s reproductive rights and the potential of a Supreme Court nominee being one vote away from reversing Roe V. Wade, as is the Republican platform’s objective. It’s not like anyone in your family will be raped. Besides, if a back alley abortion with a wire hanger was good enough for grandma, it should be good enough for your grand children.

You can justify how it is right and proper for Viagra to be covered with medical insurance to treat male impotence; but that women’s contraception is simply against god’s will, thus not justified.

You’re probably ok that the majority of the Republican party perceive freethinkers/atheists to be less qualified to hold public office than a gay or a Muslim; and isn’t patriotic, or “possibly not even American” as George H.W. Bush so succinctly stated. They’ll tolerate us in their “Christian Nation,” for the time being.

It shouldn’t be a concern that the GOP plainly stated in 2010 that its first priority was not restoring the nation’s economy, or improving the unemployment situation, or even reducing the deficit.  It was to prevent that Negro in the White House from attaining a second term. Their congressional obstructionism is just good politics.

Don’t give lower income women’s health a second thought. Planned Parenthood is obviously a hideous waste of 0.008% of our federal budget. Besides, why would poor women need breast cancer screening...or even breasts? 

Forget about Romney’s peculiar inclination to get the US embroiled in the Syrian conflict, and his readiness to go to war with Iran.  Mitt  needs those initiatives to gain some military experience since his was limited to a tour of duty in Paris selling Mormonism to the French during the Vietnam war.

Pay no mind to the fact that the stock market is 7,000 points higher than it was four years ago, unemployment is lower, housing prices are recovering, banks are lending again, and the car industry is stronger than it ever was. Mitt says you’re fucked compared to 2008. Strangely, he doesn’t seem to be starving.

Assume that Romney has a secret plan to restore unemployment to under 4%. Anything else is just details. After all, he was a CEO.

Ignore the fact that he declared Russia our greatest enemy, or that on his first trip abroad as a presidential candidate he insulted our closest ally and belittled Palestinian culture as the cause for their economic strife. A veritable diplomatic genius.

Trust that maintaining tax breaks for the wealthy, and eliminating those pesky tax deduction “loopholes” for the middle class -  like mortgage interest, tuition costs, and health care expenses – while increasing military spending by $1 Trillion more than the Joint Chiefs of Staff asked for, will all somehow work out to improve the economy and reduce the deficit.  Chances are your mortgage is all paid up, and your kids are done with college, and you are self insured anyway.

No, don’t worry about any of this stuff. Give it not a second thought.  But when you reach up to pull that lever, or place that “X” in the box, or punch out that “chad”... I want you to remember this:   

Then remember this is the man who will guide the nation for the next four years, and have his finger on the button of the most advanced nuclear arsenal and strongest military force on the planet.  If you can sleep with that then indeed, vote for the Creationist in the magic Mormon underwear.
Am I preaching to the choir?  Then send this link to someone who could use a touch of reason. 

Sam Harris is Wrong...Again.

Sam Harris is an icon of the atheist movement. We owe him much for his outspoken opposition to religious intrusion into our lives and the damage it does to society. I respect him immensely.   But Sam is not an icon of international diplomacy, nor is he infallible.  We’ll leave infallibility to the pope.

The same can be said for Chris Hitchens. He was and remains a hero of mine, but he was a misguided rabid supporter of the war in Iraq.  

I disagree with Sam Harris on a few things, not the least of which is his demonization of liberal Xtians.  You’d think a man of letters who firmly accepts evolutionary theory, would see liberal Xtians as part of, a stage in, the evolution of religion - leading ultimately to reason and the demise of religion over the long haul.  Sam, it seems, isn’t satisfied with that. 

To Harris liberal Xtians are cherry picking doctrine (and they are); accommodating myth with reality (which they do); creating a hybrid or bastardization of Christianity which prolongs religious belief (and it does) and enables fundies.  It seems that to Sam anything short of the immediate self extinction of fundamentalist belief, with no stage between total belief in myth and fable and complete atheism, is unacceptable and unworthy of nurturing or acceptance, but worthy only of disdain.  This is my summary interpretation of his perspective, not his precise words.

To me this is tantamount to despising Australopithecus for standing between his arboreal ancestors and the development of Homo sapiens. Heck, Australo was just delaying the inevitable.

Sam’s not much of a pragmatist in that regard, nor is he a diplomat nor politician if his latest screed is any indication. 
  

Today Sam Harris came out and accused the Obama administration of practicing “quivering lip diplomacy” based on the tweet issued by the US embassy in Egypt before the Libyan murders occurred, and based on subsequent government statements that seek to distance the US government from the act of a private US individual.
http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/on-the-freedom-to-offend-an-imaginary-god

 But where Sam sees this as weakness I see it as diplomacy, civility, and an attempt to establish credible arms length distance between government involvement and private citizen's action; not at all indicative of an offer to relinquish our rights and freedoms or an admonishment against free speech by anyone of any kind.

Unfortunately, some Americans, Sam included, seem not to understand that every Muslim who lives in the Middle East lives in a culture where all media must be approved and sanctioned by their ruling government. It is unheard of for a private individual, under decades of autocratic / despotic rule, to be able to produce and air a film without government approval and blessing.  This then feeds the Muslim world’s assumption that this policy / reality extends to foreign countries because they know nothing else.  The failure to recognize this is symptomatic of the Western-centric mindset, and a failed educational system, or just a preference to remain ignorant of other cultural realities.  Mercifully, unlike Romney, McCain, Palin, my neighbor up the street and Sam Harris, the Obama administration understands this. 

If establishing that the US government does not endorse specific speech antagonistic to a billion or so foreigners, and seeks to maintain an arms length between a private citizen’s inflammatory speech and our body’s politic is some how weakness, it is only so in the minds of those who fail to understand this difference (or prefer to reject the difference ).  It speaks more to those Americans' knee jerk ethno-centric ignorance, or political agenda,  than to an administration kowtowing to Muslim indignation.

No...the private citizen does not speak for the US government.  His words and actions do not necessarily reflect our nation’s policy or perspective. While blasphemy, insult, and hate speech are our right, the government has no obligation to imply it endorses what is said, only to endorse our right to say it.   I'm glad we have an administration that knows the difference and did just that.  

That said:  Phuque the Profit Muhammad. 

(Note:  I was criticized by a fb friend for referring to Christopher Hitchens as "Chris" in this article, an abbreviated name Hitch despised.  A thoughtless oversight on my part. But I doubt "Hitch" is going to object. After all,  I've never received a complaint from Chuck Darwin)   

Busy week among the religiously moronic, and it's only Thursday

I usually pick one theme for my blog articles- whatever catches my attention as being particularly worthy of my ire.  But this week has been so chocked full of religiously related idiocy I just couldn’t pick one. So let me send a few shout outs and see if I can at least provoke a fatwa against me.

Attention Muslims:
Evidently your pampers are all in a twist over a 3^rd rate movie by one of your fellow countrymen of Xtian belief.  Seems to have caused you to run into the streets, attack, burn, destroy and otherwise commit mayhem in the name of the Religion of Peace.  Look, let me say this so even your backward minds can understand it: “Sticks and stones can break your bones, but calling your imbecilic pedophile militant fiend of a prophet what he was will never hurt you.” 

If your prophet Muhammad (piss be upon him, pictured above) is offended, and is as powerful and as close to Allah as you say, let him do his own burning, destruction and ranting. Calm your ignorant medieval asses down.  Free speech trumps your feelings, even though you have zero idea what free speech is since freedom of anything is alien to your religion and culture.  
(PS: Word has it you people can sniff a camel out from 100 miles away.  I live in NH. It shouldn’t be too difficult to find a dromedary among the population here, so few New Hampshirites actually have humps in spite of what you may have heard. But we all have heavy weaponry.)

Attention Mormon Presidential Candidates:
I don’t care that you think you’re going to be the god of your own planet when you croak.  I don’t care that you wear magic underwear, or that your kids are forced to wear them.  I don’t even care that you have a charlatan, liar, and convicted felon as your preferred religious prophet. That’s your cross to bear.

What I do care about is your taking advantage of a tragedy on foreign soil and using it for political attack purposes and making idiotic accusations about embassy issued statements before you even know when it was issued, in what context , and WTF is going on.

Not only is it proof of your cult addled brain being devoid of any concept of diplomacy, timing, dignity or intellect...it is proof positive, once again, that you’re not presidential material.  Now go sacrifice a chicken to Joseph Smith, or whatever it is your cult does.

.Attention NASA Administrator Charles Bolden: 

 I understand Neil Armstrong was religious.  I understand the importance for people like you to mumble your praiseand acknowledgement to gawd; reference Neil up in heaven looking down; and do your Holy Holy Holy routine.  But the statement you made that:
“... [technological and scientific] achievements are made possible through God's grace and guiding hand," while I’m sure is a sentiment that was received well by the religiously devoid of reason, it is beneath the position of  an administrator of the nation’s premier scientific exploration government entity. 

Yes...I get that you are a Southerner, a Christian, a Marine aviator, test pilot and that your science degree is in “science administration,” thus you’re not a genuine scientist.  Therefore we have no right to expect you to understand the difference between science and myth.  But at least feign some sense of reality and respect for human achievement.

Before you offer up a platitude that betrays your intellectual short comings, at least reflect upon the fact that if Gawd’s guiding hand determines discovery, that the psychopathic imaginary deity you worship and give credit to for the moon landing took a few hundred thousand years to inform humanity what causes illness...you know, simple  things like germs, bacteria, how to prevent and cure their infections- like telling them to wash their hands after they  wipe their butts.   Some super grace your god’s got there.

and finally...

Attention Pat Robertson:

Hey Pat, your latest suggestion that a man become a Muslim and move to Saudi so he can beat his wife into submitting to him as the ruler of the house, as women are meant to do by Gawd’s law was classic Pat Idiocy.  We all got a good laugh out of just another in an endless list of biblically driven misogyny, unthinking statements, and reinforcement of violence toward women (along with your well documented hatred of gays, liberals, feminists, atheists and anyone who embraces reason over fable).

But here’s the thing, Pat.  We can’t tell anymore when you’re tossing out a bad joke, and when you’re being dead serious. Which brings us to your health and the concept of “dead.”   Please, do the gracious thing and take that long over due dirt nap.  You give humans a bad name and exponentially increase the stupid Xtian quotient..

No shortage of religious stupid this week, and the week is only 5/7^th over.  Reason have mercy!